~[I am me.Unique.]~

Too many things running through my mind.

2010-04-08T21:00:00.002+08:00

A close friend of mine just dropped a bombshell on me today; she doesn't know what to do. I want to help, but I can't, because I'm not her. I can only listen and let her lean on me for strength, if she needs it.

And watch this video, it'll shock and horrify you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIjanhKqVC4

I feel so helpless.

I feel so helpless that the world is in such a state, and as one person I can't do much to change it.

I feel so helpless that I have no idea how to help it.

I want to help it, I want to change the world.

I want to be a psychologist to help people, to change their lives one at a time, if I can. Like that story of the boy and the starfish on the beach, I want to make a difference.

I want to shake the world awake, I want to show them what capitalism, what it made us to be. I'm immersed into this world, but I want to be a

I want the world to change. I want them to stop looking at just the bottom line, and start caring for things/people/animals around us. I want them to see and care.

What does it boil down to? Why does this happen?

Apathy.

Apathy, because it doesn't concern or harm us, we don't have to be concerned with it.

Apathy, because it hasn't happened to anyone we know, we don't have to bother.

Apathy, because it's not part of our species, therefore, there is no chance of it happening to us. Therefore, we don't have to care.

Apathy, because it gives us a very comfortable life, we don't ask, we don't care.

What does this make us?

What does this show about us?

If those animals could talk, what would they say?

"Why are you doing this to me? Why am I crippled because you want my flesh for food, torn away from my child because you want my milk, and killed cruelly because I am no longer useful to you?

"What would you do if our positions were switched?

"How would you react if I take your kid away from you, then milk you a few times a day, even if it hurts?

"How would you feel if I pump you full of hormones, so that you grow so fast that you legs can't support your weight?"

I believe that not all farms like that, that there are good farms that have good and kind practices, but I sincerely hope that one day, such things don't happen anymore...

Okay I've calmed down. I've thought things through better, instead of getting so worked up that all I can do is lash out.

But this video is a sobering one, giving you food for thought, is it not?

my dreams sure are bizarre

2009-09-12T19:50:00.002+08:00

This time though, my brain's probably just overcompensating for my injured foot. Here's what happened.

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I was in a multi-storey house, sleeping in one of the rooms on the second floor. It had those old-school shuttered frosted glass windows that you often saw in classrooms. In the middle of the night, I heard a sound which came from outside my window. Wary, I opened the window slowly and saw a group of gangsters having a meeting outside. I quickly closed my windows before they noticed me. They began to make quite a ruckus, and seemed to be out for blood. Afraid, I hid back under my blankets and pretended to sleep, hoping that they wouldn't notice me. Next thing I knew, I was in an old classroom with about 15 or so other people and the gangsters. Everyone was frightened, especially since the gangsters looked especially malicious and menacing.

The gang leader said "Okay let's go, there isn't much time left before that thing explodes" and left the room with the rest of the gang, locking the door behind them. Looking around, everyone realised that there was a bomb ticking and if we did not escape, we would all die. I went to a window, which had the same shuttered frosted glass windows. Using all my might, I pulled at it, along with another person in the room. Surprisingly, it came out easily. We saw that there were 2 gangsters keeping watch outside, 1 facing us while the other had his back to us. The gangster facing us pretended not to notice, and we smashed the pane of frosted windows on the other gangster, knocking him out. The gangster who saw us told us to hurry escape, and took another pane of glass, shattering over his own head. We all ran and split up, as the gang saw us and gave chase.

Coming to a stairwell, I rushed down it, with a gangster in hot pursuit. I took the stairs 1 flight at a time, jumping over the banisters to speed up. Coming to the ground floor, I ran as fast as I could, past people milling around. Suddenly, I found myself in a lobby of sorts, when I was just in a school building. The police were there, and the rest of the escapees were seated on the floor, with most of the gangsters caught. I went to them and sat down for awhile to catch my breath. The police lead most of the gangsters away, and I left the place after thinking that everything was over. As I was outside, the chief gangster who wasn't captured spotted me and gave chase.

I immediately ran, as fast as I could, and this time I was jumping around to avoid him, jumping up the top of the exhibit booths on display. As the chief gangster couldn't get to my position, he was goading me, taunting me to make me come down. At this point in time, I tried to capture him with my web, ala Spiderman, but nothing came out. I saw the police approaching him, ambushing him and I distracted him, allowing the police to capture him. As he was led away he shouted out "I will be back, this is not the last you'll see of me!"

With the threat finally gone, I was about go get down from the booth when a voice from the top of the other booth stopped me. "Before you go, try this Meowth taiyaki!", he said. I turned to my right, and I saw a guy with the taiyaki. At this point in time, I somehow noticed that the booth that I was on was Lancomé and the other booth was L'Oreal. As I turned around, I woke up.

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My dreams can get weirdly bizarre sometimes. It'll probably make a rather good story though, with some polishing.

The Tears That Fall

2009-08-07T01:01:00.003+08:00

I was doing some spring cleaning on my laptop and came across this short story that I did for a module back in year 3, and just decided to post it up. This version's unedited since the submission. Do give comments if you've read through it. =) Currently deciding if I should continue writing it.

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Guys are supposed to be ‘macho’ and all;

They’re not supposed to cry, they’re supposed to be strong.

But when they do cry, why and what is it for?

— ∞ —

Samuel was facing another man in an abandoned warehouse, located in the old port miles away from civilisation. It had been unused for many years after the port moved to its current location, and part of the warehouse had caved in. Huge rusting shipping containers were stacked in neat rows, towering above the ground. He was pointing a gun at the other man, but the other man was unperturbed.

The other man sat in the lone chair in the warehouse, playing with a pocketknife, with one leg balanced across the other. A lit cigarette hung carelessly from between his fingers.

“Where is she, Chad?” he said calmly, the gun held steady and pointed at the other man.

Chad stopped playing, and glanced up, a slight smile curving on his face. “I would point that gun away if I were you. Bullets don’t have eyes you know.” He shook his finger at Samuel almost nonchalantly, infuriating him. “And where is who, Nick?” He slowly got up, thumbing the pocketknife. “Or shall I say Samuel?”

Shock ran through Samuel’s body, as he realised that his identity had been exposed. A hint of emotion flashed on his face, but it was gone in a flash as he tried to keep his emotions under control. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

A savage smile formed on Chad’s face as he paced the room slowly. “Oh don’t act innocent already, Samuel. Sergeant Samuel Khoo, been with the police force for a year. Was apparently fired and jailed for a month for taking bribes from the triads. In actual fact, you were working undercover to infiltrate the Dragon Street gang, to bring it down from the inside. Am I right?”

Visibly shaken, sweat was beading on Samuel’s brow. How did his cover blow? He had been very careful to cover his tracks. “This is ridiculous! Where did you hear it from?”

He had to report this to the Chief as soon as possible. But first, he had to get her out of here. “And where is Kailee?” He began taking steps closer to Chad. “If you harm her in any way, I’ll make you PAY.”

Chad stopped pacing and turned to him. “I have my ways, Nick. Don’t try to deny it. As for her… don’t worry, she’s in safe hands.” Chad was taunting him, and was enjoying it immensely. Chad dropped the cigarette and crushed it under his heel with slow, deliberate movements.

He walked right in front of Chad, his resolve and composure gone. “DON’T YOU BLOODY PLAY WITH ME NOW!” he grabbed the front of Chad’s worn shirt. “WHERE IS SHE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER?!” He pointed the gun in his hand at Chad’s throat, in a miserable attempt to intimidate him.

Chad just laughed and brushed off Samuel’s hand. With one hand, he pushed the gun away from him and kept his pocketknife in his jacket. “You might want to think again, you know. Your girlfriend’s still in my hands, and if you kill me here, you would NEVER see her again.”

Saumuel could only look helplessly as Chad spun on his heels and walked to the chair, sitting on it imperiously. “I have nothing to lose; the Dragon Street gang has been smashed no thanks to you, and I’m on the run.” He leaned forwards, holding his chin in one palm. The silence hung thick in the air.

Chad leaned back in the chair and snapped his fingers. Two burly men dragged a struggling woman from behind a container. Her hands were bound in front of her, her mouth covered by a length of cloth.

She was alive! Her dress was scuffed and slightly torn, her hair was messy, she had a few scratches, but she was alive!

One of the men ripped the cloth away from her mouth. “Sam! Help me! Save – ahh!” she screamed in pain as the man bludgeoned her on the back of her head with a metal rod.

“Kailee!” Samuel screamed anxiously. He moved towards her immediately, desperate to get her out of this nightmare.

“Move closer, and she dies. Immediately.” He was stopped in his tracks. “What do you want?” Samuel gritted out, glaring angrily at Chad. “Just freaking TELL me what you want already!”

“What do I want?” Chad asks in amusement, pointing to himself. “What do I want? Let’s see…” He pretended to think for a moment. “Revenge.”

Giving a sigh of contentment, his eyes were fixed on somewhere faraway. “For all that you’ve done to destroy my life. And don’t interrupt!” he wagged a finger at Samuel, who was about to speak out. “I didn’t ask you to speak.” Chad turned to the two men and gestured with his fingers. “Bring her over here.”

“What are you doing now?” Samuel spat out, raising his gun to Chad, a maelstrom of conflicting emotions swirling within him. Chad grabbed her around the waist and pulled her in front of him, right in the path of the pointed gun.

“Ah well, that’s to ensure that you don’t turn around and use that pesky gun of yours on me.”

“YOU –“

“Now drop that gun and kick it over here.” Faced with no other choice, he did as he was told.

“Now, let her go.”

Chad leaned down to pick the gun up unhurriedly, and every moment was pure agony for him. After what seemed like ages, Chad replied.

“No.”

“WHY? THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER. TAKE IT OUT ON ME, JUST LEAVE HER ALONE.” Samuel could hardly take it anymore; it was driving him insane.

Chad didn’t answer, just toyed with the gun, examining it. He caressed Kailee’s skin with the gun, cool metal against warm flesh, taking perverse pleasure in her fright.

Kailee was whimpering, her eyes filled with pure, unadulterated terror as she stared at the gun in his hands. Tears were brimming in her eyes, threatening to fall. She couldn’t breathe properly from fear, and she was shaking in her shoes. Her voice was stuck in her throat, paralysed from fear.

Without warning, Chad suddenly turned to Samuel and fired.

Bang!

Kailee screamed and shut her eyes, frightened out of her wits. Rivulets of tears streamed down her face, and she was too scared to even breathe. Chad laughed.

The shot had hit Samuel in the knee, shattering it. He collapsed immediately as his knee gave way, and blood flowed out like a wet, sticky river.

“This is for betraying Dragon Street gang.”

Bang!

“This is for going against me.”

Bang!

“This is for destroying my life.”

Bang!

“And this is because I hate you.”

“Sam!” Kailee tried to scream, but it came out as a quavering whisper.

Samuel lay on the floor of the warehouse in a pool of blood, the bullets having pierced clean through his body. Blood flowed profusely, draining him of his life-force, and he grew weaker by the second.

Chad pushed Kailee back to the two men, and strode forward, grabbing Samuel’s shirt. He winced slightly, but refused to let Chad have the satisfaction of seeing him in pain. “Now you know that I’m not to be trifled with, don’t you?” he said in a harsh whisper. Chad brutally cuffed Samuel on the head with the gun before pushing the barrel of the gun to his temple. “I would shoot you in the head gleefully now, but I still have the finale!”

He stood up quickly and strode back to the two men, grabbing Kailee again, pulling her in front of him.

With an almost maniacal smile, Chad dropped the gun and it clattered on the floor, relishing the sound it made. “And now,” he said almost happily, pulling out his pocketknife with a flourish, “it’s time for the finale!”

He placed the blade on Kailee’s throat, and asked “Any last words? Oh well.” He shrugged his shoulders, his hand prepared to move.

Then everything slowed down.

The knife slit through her throat in one smooth motion, and blood squirted out, spattering everywhere. It was as if an abstract artist came in and decided to throw a pail of dark red paint in the air to see where it lands.

Chad grinned as he pushed her body away.

“Kailee!” Samuel tried to stand, but his body refused to listen to him. He could barely move a limb, and only managed to raise his left arm with effort, watching in horror.

For as long as he lived, he would never how she looked as she fell.

Her eyes widened as her throat was slit so mercilessly, her haunted gaze forever burned in his memory. Her mouth opened in a silent scream, open in fear forever. Her body a heavy weight, she crashed to the ground, her eyes wide open.

“Oh well, I think everything’s done here. The fun’s over, and I think he’ll die in awhile.” Chad gestured to the two men. “Let’s go.”

With nary a backward glance, the three of them sauntered out the warehouse doors, Chad whistling all the way.

Samuel crawled towards where Kailee lay, inch by painful inch. The bullet wounds have started to hurt, and it was taking all his energy to move. He left a trail of blood behind him, painting the floor red.

“Kailee…” he whispered, unable to raise his voice any louder. Even that one word took almost all of his strength.

He finally reached her and grasped her hand, hoping against hope that she was still alive, his logical mind knowing that she’s dead but he refused to come to terms with it. It was no use; her hand was limp and devoid of life, just like the rest of her.

“Kailee…” he whispered urgently. “Wake up, don’t sleep anymore! We have to get out of here!” Unshed tears were blurring his vision, threatening to fall.

While growing up, everyone told him that a guy doesn’t cry easily. There’s this Chinese idiom “男子汉，大仗夫，流血不流泪”, which roughly translates to men bleed but don’t cry.

But now, he couldn’t help the tears that fell. He already was an orphan, with no one to rely on, no one to care for him. It wasn’t easy for him to meet Kailee, his one and only support, and now…

She’s gone.

Forever.

And it’s all because of him.

Pain, both physical and mental, assailed his senses, overpowered them. The pain from the wounds he received from Chad hurt like hell and was burning from the inside, but it was nothing compared to the anguish over losing Kailee.

His body began to break down. Already his vision was narrowing; the sides seemed to close in. His limbs refused to cooperate with him, and he lay paralysed on the floor. The burning in his body intensified to unbearable proportions, and just then, he smiled a peaceful smile, anticipating what was coming soon.

Kailee, I’m coming. Wait for me.

Then all feeling ceased to exist.

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FIN.

How was it? =)

Change

2009-07-05T01:28:00.003+08:00

Change is inevitable. In fact, it is the only thing that stays constant. Everyday single day, the world's changes. Babies are born, people pass away, buildings are torn down and new ones built. New relationships formed, old relationships broken, bonds strengthened, technology and science advanced.

For most people, the years of being a teenager and probably a few after are ones that are fraught with many changes, both physically and mentally. We go through puberty, get more responsibilities, more freedom that many crave like they would a drug, and 'grow up'. It's this time that we start to really notice people of the opposite sex, and are no longer seen as pests. Some experience their first loves, some get their hearts broken, have their first crushes. Many try to push boundaries, and it's an exciting new time for them. Hormones starts production in earnest, and it's a confusing time for most.

After this, after finishing many years of education, it's time to step into the world of 'adults', once looked upon with awe and longing and yet when we reach that most wish we were young again. The first steps towards independence, both financial and from our parents are taken here. No longer is there a 'fallback' or teachers and mentors guiding you every step of the way, it'll be a scary and exciting new phase of life. Of course, with work brings salary, and newfound spending power will be an exciting new thing to behold.

Now with a job, most people will find their other halves, get married and settle down. Some don't get married, by choice or otherwise. As time goes by, they would probably have had a few children, and then focus on climbing the corporate ladder and bringing up their children, sending them to school and giving them the best that they can provide.

Twenty years or so down the road, the children would have grown up, and there will be no more worries. Most will retire, and years later, like everyone else before them, they die. The cycle repeats, and change happens constantly.

Aat this transitionary age between teenagehood and adulthood, I'm rather excited and yet afraid, both at the same time. It's an interesting feeling that is not easily described. While quite a few of my peers have begun or have already been settling their own affairs such as applying for passports, ATM cards, handphone lines and what-nots, I still don't really know how to use an ATM and have not seen a handphone bill in ages. The last time I saw one was a few years ago, when my mum said that my bill was too high (around $30-$40 I think). There are new experiences to be had on a regular basis.

I feel... strangely unprepared. Really unprepared, like everyone else had some important life preparation lesson that I missed. Truth be told I don't feel 20 at all, and I am not ready. It scares me a little to feel like everyone has an idea of how being this age is like and I missed that memo.

And that's not all that scares me. A few nights ago, as I was falling asleep, I was thinking of how I'm reaching the age that I think I'm finally mature enough to handle a relationship, and how in a few years I'll probably be married, and a few years after that I'll probably have a kid or two. Then it striked me that that's not a lot of time. In the simple mind of mine years back I've always envisioned that I'll be married by 24, have 2 kids by 30 just because it sounds and feels right, and that I will naturally know what to do by then because the knowledge will suddenly drop from the sky and knock me on the head, but alas it did not. And then after twenty years or so, my kids will be grown up and I'll be in retirement, and then, it's just a matter of time before I die. Suddenly I wasn't sleepy anymore.

My mind's trying to grasp the fact that I wouldn't live forever, like everyone else, and it's having some trouble doing so. It feels so transient, and unreal. At this age I guess most, or everyone, feels that they are invincible and they will live forever. In the quiet of the night I looked at my hand, flexed it once, and a thought ran through my head: all this will be reduced to nothing more than dust sooner or later. Throw in another fifty to a hundred years and what you've done and your life will be as if it never existed. But that's the cycle of life, isn't it?

Then I thought, "What happens if we can live forever? Will that be better?" This is probably one of the reasons why people seek immortality (Qin ShiHuang for example), and like books/stories/movies with vampires and immortal souls/beings. But what happens if you can live forever? It'll soon be a burden, a chore, and a torture. Imagine seeing everything around you change other than you, living day after day, year after year, millennia after millennia.

Back to the nearer future, I'm adapting to these inevitable changes in my life. Slowly but surely, I think I'll make the transition and gain the knowledge of the adult I'm supposed to be in a year or two, seeing that it did not hit me over the head like a sack of bricks. Slowly, but surely. I'll get there when I get there I guess? And I'll do it my way.

A face to the war

2009-06-07T01:14:00.002+08:00

It's about 1.30am and I just cried watching the video below.

I've been watching quite a few similar videos and most of them got my tears flowing. I couldn't help it; take the video above, you can see and feel the longing, the relief, the happiness and the myriad of emotions flowing out from both the boy and his father. For most of us, we'll be hard pressed to imagine lives without our parents there everyday, or the uncertainty as to whether they'll come back alive (touch wood). But for the children of the soldiers, they have to live with months, or maybe even a year or 2 without seeing their parents. Worse still, they have to live with the uncertainty as to whether they'll make it back. As sad as these videos are, the saddest stories are when men and women do not make it back alive. Think of how many families are broken up just like that.

This applies to the "enemy" as well. Some might not want to fight, but has no choice other than to protect what they hold dear. You might think "oh, they are a threat to the safety of the world", or maybe "but they are terrorists" to rationalise your support for the war. But think about this: they might not be fighting because they are oh-so-bad-terrorists, but just because they want to protect their homeland. If you were in their shoes, would you just give up and let others invade you?

They have families, they have homes, they have their lives there. What justifies this attack on them? If you want to get to the bottom of it I think that wars are started due to the governments/rulers of the country. As unwilling as the army/people are in regards to war, they have to follow the instructions of the head of state (unless they mutiny or start a rebellion, which will lead to unrest and more suffering to the people). It seems really unfair that the common civilian, the common man/woman/child on the street has to pay for what's not their fault in the first place, to be caught in the crossfire.

"Zombie" by The Craneberries and "Where Is The Love" by the Black Eyed Peas are 2 really strong songs that brings to mind the suffering of these people. Sometimes I wonder when will all this fighting stop, when will all this end and peace to come to everyone.

Then I realise that men never really learn from their mistakes, as shown since time immemorial, when people started fighting to gain power.

On another note, to the passengers on Air France flight 447, may you rest in peace. To the familes of the passengers, my heartfelt condolences. I cannot say that I undestand how you feel because nothing like this has happened to me (touchwood), but I can imagine how much pain and anguish you must be feeling.

Graduation

2009-05-14T01:25:00.003+08:00

Today was the last day of officially being a Ngee Ann Mass Communication student. It was our graduation ceremony, and the end of this chapter of our lives. Okay maybe not exactly over, because I'll always have this connection to Ngee Ann, the place that holds many dear memories. The place where I made many friends, and where I learnt to open up more and where I feel so much more accepted than my secondary school.

My dear lecturers, thank you so much for your patience, and for everything you have done for us. You guys made lessons interesting, became our friends and helped us so much.

Classmates and friends, that you for being that awesome bunch. Whether it's the insane and inane midnight MSN chats, or the rushing of projects, or the hanging out, or even the time spent in lectures and tutorials, you guys were great.

Of course, there's Ambassadors and all the others in school that have made this 3 years so much more enjoyable and unforgettable. Thank you guys for making me feel welcome and at home, and being the awesome people you guys are.

Now that I've graduated, I'll miss everything and everyone.

And before I become all melancholic, emotional and upset (I nearly cried during the ceremony -_-"), I'll like to say that these 3 years have been wonderful.

Thank you all.

too many thoughts

2009-04-30T13:07:00.004+08:00

It's late at night, and I should be asleep (driving practice tomorrow at 1pm), but there are so many thoughts running through my mind and I thought penning them down before sleeping would be better. Warning: it'll possibly be verbal diarrhea, and might not make much sense. Then again, you're probably (all) used to it by now right? =)

My 4 year old nephew who was visiting my family with an aunt walked into a room I was in today with a full PACKET of Yakult straws stuck in his mouth. As usual, playing with him, I asked him (translated from Mandarin because he doesn't speak English) "wahh, why are you playing with the entire PACK of Yakult straws? And you put them in your mouth!"

He just gave me his innocent, cheeky smile and said simply "I'm smoking". I was so shocked and saddened that I didn't know how to react. I guess it's really true that kids learn everything and anything from their adult role models, because the people he's living with mostly smoke, and even the people who frequent his house. With no one to really teach him right from wrong, he learnt that smoking's okay because his esteemed dad and relatives are all smoking. What a bad environment to grow up in. I'm so grateful that my dad stopped smoking when my brother and I were born, and he stopped for us. =) He now also dislikes people smoking, though not as much as me (or I think my brother?) because I have a sensitive nose and asthma, and cigarette smoke makes me cough and choke. I still wonder how people can willingly inhale poison and kill them slowly and painfully.

At times I think an optimist outlook is great, and the constant lookout for something good in things bad is kinda helping me. When I get upset that I haven't gotten any letters and notifications from any universities (NUS and NTU), I'll think that "okay, either they send me a letter and I have somewhere to study this year. If not, I can take the coming year to consider what it is I am really interested in/can make a living from, and reapply again. Also, there'll be more time to prepare. In any case, I can still apply for a private university."

I realise that I've been playing a few games with zombies lately, be it cute or not. Left4Dead is fun, both blowing off the heads of zombie hordes or playing as a zombie. Plants vs. Zombies is a really cute game that has you creating a lawn defense against the zombies. You use PLANTS to fight zombies, that for the most part moves slowly, giving ample time for your peashooters and what-nots to kill the zombies. A sample of the weirdness? There's this plant that shoots BUTTER at enemies (as well as corn kernels) at zombies. Apparently butter slows zombies down.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a slow/late bloomer. Haha it seems like people my age have all done what I'm doing now maybe 3, 4 years ago. Hmm. They stay out late and 12am is normal for them (or later), and I'm usually home by latest... 10? On some occasions later, but usually I'll be home for dinner or before 10/11. But it doesn't really affect me, and I know it's because my parents worry for me. Anyway I don't go out all that often. =)

I really need to concentrate better and not get distracted quite so easily. My 10 sheep cross stitch has only 3 1/2 sheep done! But it's kinda therapeutic, not that I'm stressed or anything. Oh, TRANSFORMERS 2 LOOKS AWESOME. X-Men Origins: Wolverine looks nice too. I was thinking of Gu-gu the Cat, because it's way adorable, but I think it's not showing anymore. Aww. =( Angels and Demons looks good too, and I've read the entire Dan Brown series (is it even a series?), so if the book's anything to go by it'll be nice.

1.37am on my dashboard clock and I'm hungry. =( Garlicky prawns would be nice now, or maybe cheesecake or yam cake! =D Not the Chinese steamed yam cake, but Westerned baked yam cake. Okay now I feel greedy because there's still chocolate lava cake with ice cream on my mind, and steamed crabs and laksa and OH MY GOODNESS I got to stop thinking about so much food. Ah well since I remember I still have pushpops (somewhere) for tomorrow, on the way for my driving lesson.

Graduation's on Wednesday (13 May 2009) and driving test's on Thursday (14 May) and I hope I can pass my driving test. o.O I tend to panic and get nervous when I know it's a test and I see them writing on the paper because gosh DEMERITS if I get too many I fail. =( BUT. I will (do my best?) to have confidence in myself, and be more "daring".

Did you know you can't fold a piece of paper in half more than 7 times? Unless it's some HUGE piece of paper, and by huge I mean HUGE. Like football court HUGE. The paper gets too thick and all. Try it! =)

Happy Mother's Day! =) Officially it's past midnight, but any day can be Mother's Day. I love you Mummy! Even though I might grumble a little behind your back when you scold me or nag, but I love you! *big hugs*

I had something else to say, but it's gone now. Sleepy. Chanda Mama by Playing for Peace is a great song.

With that, goodnight. =)

so, thank you

2009-03-21T00:49:00.002+08:00

Thank you to all who made my day today/yesterday. =) It was sort-of different, it was memorable, and yes I could hardly stop smiling.

And I am thanking all the wonderful people in my life again that makes my life such a whirlwind of rainbow colours. You know how an action might change the course of your entire life? I think one choice that I will never regret is coming to poly. So many memories, so many wonderful friends, and yes so much joy.

Shall not name names here, but I guess you guys know who's who. =)

Thank you friend for being the first to wish me the day before, and even ANNOUNCING it on your own blog, plus telling the whole world that I'm blur. =p

Thank you friend for arranging for a meeting with you and the 2 army boys who are always so hard to grab hold of. =) See you soon!

Thank you friends who wished me on FaceBook or sent me an SMS. Or somehow got it through to me. =)

Thank you dear friend who let me give you this ridiculously long name and called me this morning, though it's also to ask how to count GPA. =)

Thank you friend for being the first one I called this morning because yours was the other SMS I received apart from the result SMS and I HAD to tell someone the good news. It was, at that time, bursting out. And sorry for disrupting your labrat-ness, Mr arms-can't-move. =p

Thank you friend, for SMSing me even though you were in camp at that time. =) Hope you've recovered! And you probably won't read this until months later, if at all. Haha =p

And to my wonderous family. =)

Thank you bro, for the nonsense at dinner. By the way, she really was like Jigglypuff can, or some lullaby singer. (^_^)v

Thank you kor, for the cute necklace and when are you getting a girlfriend? =D Hahaha! Though I know you probably don't read this. -_-"

Thank you daddy and mummy for the day. =)

Thank you kou kou and kou tio for celebrating my birthday with me as well.

Other than losing my teenagehood, this year has no milestone.

What will next year hold..? I have no idea. Ah well.

New phase in life?

2009-03-19T23:45:00.002+08:00

So, I just turned the big 2-oh, and am no longer a teenager.

So far it's uninteresting; not bolt of light, not immediate flash of knowledge, no sudden knowledge and maturity. What a bummer.

When I was younger, I used to think that at certain milestones in life, you will suddenly gain the knowledge that people that age seem to get. For example, when you're a middle-aged teen (around 16 or so) you become street smart and all, and know your way around Orchard Road, At 18 you become more mature, develop this sudden liking for clubbing (urgh!), and it'll strike you like a ton of bricks. A tiny part of me was waiting to see if it would happen.

It never happened.

I, at 19, have no idea how to navigate Orchard Road, have no idea what bus goes where, got lost at freaking ORCHARD ROAD the other time and had to call a friend for help (the saving grace was that another friend was with me and we BOTH were lost), have never dated (though that's by choice until now and for now), stay home all the time, and seem to miss out or not know all the social things that teens do. And I'm now no longer a teen. Oh well. I seem to be a late bloomer in the social aspect anyway, and going out too often means spending a lot of money.

As a newly minted 20 year old, I was waiting for the flash of knowledge that people my age will know, and it never happened. I just transited this seemingly momentous time with nary a hoot. That's my teenagehood gone FOREVER, and here I am feeling.... nothing. What a disappointment.

And now there's this crossroads in front of me: what to pursue for my further education? I know I'm this fickle person who's interested in so many things, but now it's time to think of what I would want to do in the future. I want to continue designing: I love designing and all. But you need creativity and talent, and I feel that I'm somewhat lacking in that. I look at the beautiful works I see online, the experimentations I see everywhere, and I want to create like that. I want to create works of art and beauty so that people can enjoy them, and so that it might make a difference to that someone's life.

On the other hand, I'm really interested in Psychology as well. I know that if I take that I'll probably have to do until my Masters or PhD to be a real qualified psychologist, but I want to do my part to help society. Imagine the impact I can make on the lives of people I counsel! And if I can, kids too, to those who suffered some traumatic experience. They are so young, I can't imagine how it felt to go through all that.

And during the holidays there are so many things I want to do. I want to learn the guitar, continue my Japanese lessons, and probably learn to knit. I know it seems very grandmother-ish, but I think it can be really therapeutic and all. I want to practice my designing skills, and artwork as well. I want to learn how to create marvelous works of art like what I see. I also want to establish this exercise routine, which I haven't been able to do because of procrastination.

I hope I can keep to them all, and as usual, I've deviated far far from what I have typed in the beginning.

Being 20 really feels no different, except I think that I'm probably ready. And I'll just keep smiling and be happy-go-lucky. =) And it's a good thing I'm an optimist or I'll be freaking out that possibly 1/4 of my life's over if I live to 80.

Ah well, life's interesting this way. =)

the beautiful story of salty coffee

2009-03-11T00:25:00.005+08:00

Disclaimer: This story is not by me. I heard it/watched it/read it somewhere, but have no idea where. It made an impact on me and I suddenly remembered it today, for some reason. Can't remember everything in detail, so I read one of the versions floating on the Internet and wrote it my way. It still sounds similar in some parts, and if anyone knows where the ORIGINAL versions is from, tell me. I'll give credit. =)

--------

They met at a party. He was a normal guy, ordinary, and blended into the background there, going unnoticed. She was outstanding, the life of the party, and all the other guys were after her. When the party ended, he took the initiative and asked her out for a coffee. She was really surprised, but being polite, she accepted his offer.

They sat at a nice cafe in silence, she not knowing what to say and he being too nervous to speak out. Their coffees arrived and still they sat in silence. She was very uncomfortable with the silence, and was hoping for it to end now. Suddenly, he asked the waiter for salt for his coffee. She was taken aback. Why would anyone put salt in coffee? The salt came and he put some of it into the coffee.

Curiously, she asked him for the reason. "It's very simple," he said. "I used to live by the seaside as a boy, and loved to play in the sea. I loved the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now, whenever I drink salty coffee, I remember my parents, my childhood and my hometown. I miss them so much; my parents, my hometown."

He said with such passion and tears formed in his eyes. She was touched by his story. All he said was from the bottom of his heart. Anyone who was so nostalgic and loved his childhood so much, and could talk of his homesickness would love and care for his home, protect and be responsible to his home.

She opened up, and started talking about her hometown, her family and her childhood. They talked until the wee hours of the morning, and it was the beginning of a beautiful story. They continued dating, and she found him to be everything she hoped her other half would be. And to think that she almost missed being with him and knowing him, if not for his love of salty coffee.

Like a prince and his princess in a fairytale, they married and lived happily ever after, building a home and a family together. And every time she made coffee for him, she'll add in some salt, just the way he liked it. The lived happily for many years, until he passed away some 40 years later.

After his death, she received a letter written by him to her. Here's what it said:

" My Dearest wife, forgive me for I have lied to you. I know I have promised never to lie to you, but in fact I have lied to you the entire time I have known you - about the story of the salty coffee.

Remember our first 'date' at the cafe? I was so nervous that time that when I wanted to ask for salt instead of sugar for my coffee. It was rather hard for me to change what I wanted to say then, so I went on ahead with the story. Who knew that it would be the start of our story? I tried to tell you the truth many times during our marriage, but I was afraid. I had promised to never lie to you, and it was a lie that started our relationship. Now that I'm dying, I have nothing left to fear.

The truth, my dear, is that I don't like salty coffee. What a weird, bad taste it has, but I have had salty coffee for my whole life since I knew you. I never regret the things I do for you; having you with me is the greatest happiness in my entire life. If I can live all over again, I still want to know you and have you as my wife, even if I have to drink the salty coffee again."

Her tears fell freely, soaking the entire letter. One day, someone asked her, "What does salty coffee taste like?"

"It's sweet," she replied.

Will you be there -

2009-02-22T02:33:00.003+08:00

If you lived to a 100, I want to live to a 100+a day.

Because, I never ever want to see you grieve for me, to be upset...

Will you be there for me when I need you the most?

Will you know where I will be?

Will you find me, no matter where I might be?

Will you stay by my side forever and ever more?

Will you love me not for my shell, but for what is within me?

Will you love me for who I am, for what I am?

Will you hold me in your arms, if I am scared or sad?

Will you be there no matter what happens?

Will, you, will you, will you, always be there for me?

If I need a shoulder to cry on, will you be there?

If I am sad, will you comfort me?

If I am happy, will you celebrate and be happy with me?

If I need a listening ear, will you listen?

If I am unreasonable, will you wait for me to rationalise?

If I am lost, will you look for me?

If I am lost, will you know where to look for me?

If I am scared, will you reassure me?

If I ever, for whatever reason, chase you away in a moment of anger, will you come back to me? Stay by me forevermore?

I will love you forever and ever more.

I will love and cherish you, come what may.

I will be there for you no matter what happens.

I will look for you if you are ever lost.

I will protect you within the circles of my arms.

I will love you for who you are, what you are, and not for how you look.

I will lend you a listening ear if you ever need one.

I will lend yo a shoulder to cry on, and cry along with you.

I will try to take away your pain, because it pains me to see you that way.

I wish that I can protect you forever and ever.

I wish that I can see you smile everyday.

I wish that time would stop, so that this moment would never end.

I wish that you will never be upset, because it causes me pain.

I wish that you would rely on me for strength, because you are the source of my strength.

I wish that you will always be just who you are.

I wish that you will always know how much you mean to me.

I wish I will always be there to share your joy, your sorrows.

I wish, I wish, that I will never forget any moment I spent with you, as I am happiest then.

--------

I wrote this a year or 2 ago, after watching a particularly moving scene/show I think. It's a random thing that I suddenly felt like writing. And I was listening to the song "Will you be there", the theme song of a Channel 8 drama. (^_^) It makes me feel all happy and gooey inside, like a roasted marshmallow.

It's a nice feeling that leaves me smiling. =)

my little protective cocoon

2009-02-15T14:42:00.007+08:00

I'm turning 20 in a month or so, and this is officially the last month that I'm officially a teen. For me, it'll probably just be another birthday. The higher your expectations, the greater the disappointment right? When I first turned 16, and consequently 18, I thought "Woah, milestones! I should feel something different; possibly a sudden maturity overnight." Didn't happen, and I'm still as childish as I can ever be, with people saying I'm 16 when I'm going to be 20. I don't dread it; it's inevitable and you don't have to think you have to act all different. Just be who you are. And for the real pessimists, yes it's a step closer to death. Now stop thinking like that and enjoy life.

If there's something I'm thinking right now, I think that I'm incredibly lucky to be me. I have a wonderful family, fun and interesting relatives, and awesome friends. I have people around me who support me, who have seen how I'm like and are still around. I admit I'm not the best friend there is, and will probably wait for someone to contact me unless I get this brainwave and all. It's likely a residual leftover from secondary school, where I go home straight after school and don't go out often. And sometimes there's this little feeling that I don't really deserve all of this. There are people out there 1000 times more hardworking, more deserving of this, and I get all of it.

I think it's because there's this wonderful group of people supporting me, and sometimes I'm too dependent and reliant on them. Sometimes I'm afraid that I've been looking at things through rose-tinted glasses, and somewhere along the way it'll get ripped out and I'll be left floundering and flailing about. As much as I don't really want to admit this, I'm afraid of the day that this might all be gone. There's this selfish part of me that wants to keep this reliance, to always have people to help me, but then I'll never grow up. I have to learn to stand on my own two feet, but at the same time I'm afraid. Afraid of what I can become in the future, afraid of what lay ahead, afraid that I'll be a disappointment.

And I don't want to disappoint my parents. I don't want to let them down, when all they've done is to teach me and guide me the best they can, and wish for nothing but the best for my future. I don't want that 10 years down the road I'm still relying on the people around me, and not being able to do anything by myself. I don't want to be some sort of parasite that can't do anything right.

Sometime or later I will have to break out of my protective cocoon, my own chrysalis. Will I be some butterfly is still yet to be seen. I do hope that when the time comes, I'll be a butterfly, spreading my wings and soaring high.

I don't want to disappoint. I will not. I just hope that this would be the case.

On another note, I'll probably be back to the cheerful me in awhile.

Dreams - reflection of yourself?

2009-02-04T15:07:00.003+08:00

I have no idea. I have heard and read so many different versions of what dreams are supposed to mean. For example, one camp says that you dream about what you think in the day, others say it could be a possible reflection of what's to happen.

For me, I don't have an idea. Dreams are just.... dreams.

For some strange reason, I have been having some weird dreams, some crossing into nightmare territory. The circumstances are a little fuzzy, but just last night I dreamt that I was on the road beside some of the landed property in Singapore, with some people that I can't remember, and suddenly I heard this dog barking. I turned my head, and saw a huge dog barking at me while jumping over the gates of a house. It leapt, cleared the gates and attacked me, knocking me off my feet.

At that moment, although I knew it was a dream, although I knew I was still asleep, but the sense of fear, of what was happening, of death this way was so real. I heard it snarl in my ear, and was strangely devoid of any feeling that it was there. Nonetheless, I jolted awake. With my eyes closed, I lay on my bed, my heart pounding. It wasn't racing, it wasn't beating fast. It was just... thumping. It felt like it was beating so hard it was thumping the confines of my ribcage, in slow, even, beats.

I was aware of my surroundings, aware that it was still dark, aware of the sound of my room fan. Slowly, somehow, I drifted back to sleep, the nightmare still fresh in my mind.

Was it a reflection of what I was feeling? Of myself? If so, what did it mean? The most probable reasoning was that it was just a dream.

Just a dream.

I don't like needles

2009-01-12T21:40:00.002+08:00

Especially if they are used on me. That's another reason why I don't like falling sick. And what was meant to be a normal visit to the doctor ended with blood being drawn from me for a blood test. I'm not afraid to climb up on rooftops, over ledges and all, yet I'm afraid of a needle. Indeed, it was the anticipation of it that was worse than the actual jab. I just don't like a needle pointed in my direction from 10 metres away.

The doctor though was quite interesting: he said that I might have fallen sick because I was spring cleaning my room the day before. Being stuck with a sensitive nose and childhood (probably even now) asthma, the dust might have triggered it. He just gave me an excuse to wriggle out of doing cleaning up (though I still do it yearly), as he said that I should probably stay off cleaning unless I wear a MASK, which will be so weird!

On another note, hate is too strong a word, so I shall say i INTENSELY dislike Orchard Road. Yeah, no matter how much they say Orchard is the premier shopping belt and all, I don't like the crowd there: it makes me irritable and frustrated. Why people like squeezing with a thousand others boggles my mind. I would rather spend time at home curled up with a good book, or playing a good FPS than be at Orchard Road. For someone who's barely 20, it's kind of weird, isn't it?

Finally, driving an automatic car makes my left leg lazy. I went for the compulsory auto driving lesson on Friday, and my left leg was fidgety the entire way. I missed the clutch pedal, though it's a hundred times easier to drive than a manual car. The brake and accelerator pedals were more sensitive too, so I had to get used to them.

[almost] the new year

2008-12-30T14:40:00.002+08:00

The new year is upon us, and in just another 2 days, it'll be 2008 no more. It's the time for lame comments such as 'see you next year!', for resolutions, and for reflecting back on the passing year.

I think for me, the past few months haven't been the easiest for me, as I'm currently on attachment as a designer for a school-run scheme. I remember hearing somewhere once that when you're thrown into the deep end of the pool, you learn much faster. I think this was what happened to me: within the span of a few months, I learnt more tricks with Photoshop that I did in the whole of previous year, managed to work well with Illustrator, learnt how to use InDesign within a week, and much more.

It makes me feel very happy with myself, and yet somewhat in two minds. Not about the learning a lot more, but about my choices for when I graduate. Currently, I have interests in design, which I'm rather passionate about, and psychology, which I find fascinating. It's another major crossroads in my educational route, one which will affect my future.

On a non-work-side, at times, I'm wondering what's with all the fascination with the weight and size of people. With a deluge of thin people on television, they are placing a warped view of the people in our society at large. It's as if a gain in weight is something to be looked down upon. I'm doing my best to uphold my promise that I made to myself when I was starting secondary school: not to get affected by my physical size, and that I would never ever diet. It's been more than 5 years, and I'm proud to say that despite all the negative influences, I've still managed to keep that promise, despite all the external forces.

But it hurts when someone comes up to me and says 'eh, you gained weight ah?', or something like 'you grow fatter ah?' Yes, I know I gained some weight (not muscle mass, but fat), thank you very much, but I don't really need someone beside me reminding me. I'm at peace with what I weigh, jolly well knowing that it's result of my choices, but I don't need any reminders. How would you like me coming up to you saying 'what happened to your muscles?', or 'is that another grey hair?', or maybe even 'oh my gosh, are your parents feeding you? You look like a bag of bones.'.

Please, stop this fascination with weight. Then the many girls and even some guys can stop falling prey to the twin personal disasters called 'Anorexia' and it's brother 'Bulimia'.

To end off on a happy note, which I like, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Bring cheer to those around you and you'll be happy too.

I don't like this

2008-11-19T22:47:00.006+08:00

There has been a deluge of negative news recently, leaving me feeling a little down. So here are some messages for those involved:

To the protesters in Bangkok, your actions are bringing about greater harm to the country you call home.
To the terrorists who attacked Mumbai, I do not know the motive for your attack, but then innocent lives were lost in the crossfire, and their deaths will always stain your hands. I'm left wondering what is the message that you wanted to put across with these senseless attacks.
To the victims of the attacks, rest in peace.
To the relatives of the victims, I know that nothing I say can alleviate your grief. It was senseless; it was and still is tragic.
To the family members of Mr Nordin Montong, the cleaner killed by the white tigers in the Singapore Zoo, I hope you can come to a closure soon, if there still isn't one.

I don't like the way people are harming themselves and others.
I don't like how there can be senseless killings and attacks.
I don't like how the innocent are always the ones that suffer the most in a crossfire. If you want to fight a war, leave out those who are uninvolved.
I don't like how my friends are all stressing over one thing or another and I can only sit and watch helplessly.
I don't like it when my friends are unhappy.
I don't like this depressing air settling over me.

That's why I got to stay cheerful: it's (almost) always infectious.

Goodness knows we all need some cheer in our lives right now.

cherish the little shows of love

2008-11-14T00:09:00.003+08:00

A few weeks back, I was taking a bus and I saw an old lady. There wasn't anything really spectacular or exceptionally memorable about her. She had bags of groceries swinging from her arms, and when the bus doors opened, she alighted.

There were many people at the bus stop; some old, some young. An old man looking in the direction of the bus doors caught my attention. If he was at the bus stop waiting, the normal conclusion would be that he wanted to take the bus right? Then he should either be looking towards the front of the bus or to the end, looking for the bus number. As the old lady alighted, the old man spotted her and walked forward. He held out his hands and relieved her of a few of her grocery bags. They then walked off side by side, to the blocks of flats.

The next hour I could only think of them, that tender scene replaying in my mind over and over again. As I thought of what I saw a smile was always on my face; I could quite literally feel the love that they have for each other.

Love can manifest in many ways; it doesn't have to be proclaimed for the world to see or to be said out all the time. Actions speaks louder than words. That old man didn't have to shout out "I Love You!" to that old lady and the entire world, but it can be seen in his actions; it literally shines through.

He might speak gruffly to her, and complain about having to wait for her at the bus stop. She might nag at him for leaving his socks all over the place. He might shout at her when he's angry, and she might ignore him for days on the end in anger. However, when they needed it the most, they are there for each other, silently standing by each other, accepting each other faults and all.

And that's what makes it so touching to me.

a moment of truth

2008-10-29T21:25:00.005+08:00

How much is your relationship with those who you hold dear worth? How many secrets are you hiding from them? How willing are you to make a fool of yourself on global television, and air your dirty laundry in public? If you don't really mind any of those, then welcome to A Moment of Truth, which is, in my opinion (and none others I speak for;), one of the worst shows based purely on the fact that it banks on the embarrassment and greed of others.

I cringe whenever I see that show on the television, and will change the channel immediately. To me, gameshows reality shows have reached a new low. It just makes me think how low further can they sink, since nothing seems untouchable to them anymore. And makes me wonder: how far will people go for monetary or material gains?

What happens during the show is that the contestant will be asked increasingly personal and intimate questions, which they will have to answer truthfully, or they leave with nothing. That's bad enough, but what makes it unbearable is that the family members, friends and sometimes even bosses of the contestant will be sitting right in front of them, and they will have to answer truthfully, as stated by a polygraph machine.

Ties, bonds and relationships are all in risk of being broken in the face of this show, yet there are still people participating in it. What I do not understand also is how other people can look and CLAP whenever an ugly truth is revealed about the person in the hot seat.

Even if you multiply the cash award by 100000 times, I would never join such a game. To me, it's just degrading. Degrading the importance of ties between people, degrading the humanistic side of humans itself. It cheapens things, when such secrets can be shared with the entire world on a television program. It reminds me of the movie King Kong: in the movie a character said "There is still some mystery left in this world, and we can all have a piece of it for the price of an admission ticket." Could you put possibly everything you hold dear on the line for half a million?

And the above is just my views, so for those who stumble upon here, feel free to comment on it.

-insert title-

2008-10-22T20:16:00.002+08:00

One of the nice things about having a blog updated so infrequently, and that no one really reads is that I don't have to worry so much about offending the sensibilities of others, not that I write anything controversial.

Just for the fun of it, I googled my name (just 'Jessinta Cheng') and the first entry that came up was for UrbanWire. My blog came in fourth (which is rather surprising, since I never actively passed the link around). My old blogdrive blog was in ninth place, and just because, I clicked on the link. The last entry was in 2006, and the design of it is rather... twit. Okay, I was young and silly. I still am young, but was youngER. =)

Looking at the links of it I saw the old T105/T110 blog. Looking at it brought back many memories, memories that I don't think I will ever forget. Nostalgia hit me square in the face, and I miss those days. In a blink of an eye, I'm already at my final semester, and while I can go on to the next leg of my education in a few months, I will miss NP very badly.

I don't know, it's just... among the sweat and tears there were many more fun times, and great friends. The random 12am MSN chats, the jokes we shared over lunch, the projects that we stressed over, the fun lecturers, basically the fun that we had.

Maybe it's my experience in secondary school, but then I've learnt to cherish the times and friends that I've made. Being sort-of the outcast in secondary school, I was quiet, and the invisible wallflower in class, the one that no one partners during lab lessons and pairwork.

Then again, I want to thank that same miserable experience for giving me three wonderful friends, Hui Ting, Rosie and Jia En, three girls that I will always want to keep in contact with, that I will always want to have as part of my life. Best friends who even when we haven't talked for awhile, chatter like we've met just yesterday whenever we meet. I miss you girls!

This entry doesn't seem to have any structure or sense; it's just an outpouring of words. I seem to be flitting from topic to topic. Maybe because put me alone in my room, and if I'm not doing something else, I'll think a lot. There's so much I want to say, yet I can only type so fast. If only the words appear as I think them, how nice will that be? Then again, we might end up like the humans in Wall-E: blobs that cannot even walk. Woe betide the day the world becomes like that.

I like happiness, be it myself or of people around me, so I shall end with a happy mood. (^_^)v Where's the happy news? No idea what to type; I think you can choose to be happy. Just smile, and slowly you'll feel better! =) That's called 'Jessi logic'. Make sense eh?

just the little things that make people happy

2008-10-12T22:08:00.004+08:00

What really makes people happy? Material things, like money and branded stuff? For me, I don't care about the brand; I wear what I like, and in fact find some branded stuff weird. *gasp from people* This is purely my opinion, but I don't like the monogrammed bags and all. I much prefer something that I like and that it's not too expensive, thank you very much.

And it's the little ordinary things that happen during the course of the day that can make me happy. The laughs with friends, the time spent with family, all those little things that we take for granted now. Currently on attachment, I have wonderful friends and colleagues. Those that can make my day with a shared joke or laugh, and the antics that we get up to. Those random moments that happen in the course of the day. For me, I derive some of my happiness from the joy of others, and all these little things leave warm, fuzzy feelings in my heart.

True joy and happiness cannot be derived from material things; instead, it's these little moments in life that you'll recall, and that smile will just tug at your lips. Right now, I just feel so blessed and lucky to have a wonderful family and great friends. =) Whenever I think of these random moments, this wave of happiness and contentment will just wash over me.

Okay, now back to work. On the other hand, I enjoy doing what I do, so can it be considered work? (^_^)
For now, "I don't got time!" =) Inside joke of the Prodigies (we didn't come up with that by ourselves)

WORK. Attachment actually

2008-09-25T23:36:00.003+08:00

A post it shall be, before this site rots and grows cobwebs.

Officially, this is the 2nd week of attachment. Unofficially, we started a few weeks earlier. So far, it's been a fun ride, with the office being full of laughter and warmth. It's such a different feeling, knowing that you work will be shown to many more people other than your lecturers, friends and groupmates.

I'm still trying to take in all the different emotions running through me when go in everyday. There's happiness/joy because being able to work with all the familiar faces feels comforting, and everyone in some way depends on the others as well. Happiness too, as I feel productive, as well as having the ability to help others with what I do. Tiredness, as my body is STILL adjusting to a morning-to-evening work time. At times, there's this bittersweet feeling as well as we'll all mostly go out separate ways after this has ended. I know I'll miss the cheery atmosphere of the office and all the funny things we do, like hitting one another with a giant soft toy hand and rolling up and down the office's long walkway.

It's been less than 2 months, and I've already developed an attachment (no pun intended. seriously.) for the place and the people working there. The feeling's like... a giant family. And goodness knows I think we're like one big happy family.

For now, I'll enjoy myself, enjoy the feeling of being productive, and enjoy all that I can in IBP.

On a totally different note, I'm going to change my blogskin soon. Or if not at least the coding. It's somewhat screwed up.

Random note: WALL-E! RATATOUILLE! CAMP ROCK! DESIGN! HELVETICA!
Okay random-ness done. =)

Please, open your eyes and minds

2008-08-21T02:41:00.003+08:00

First of all, I just want to say CONGRATULATIONS to the Women's Table Tennis team for getting a Silver in the Olympics! =) It was a really exciting and valiant fight.

And to those who say that it was a hollow victory, I just want to say, PLEASE stop this.

Don't be an armchair critic, and just pay lip service. Open your eyes, minds and hearts, and look at the fairness of your comments. They have decided to make Singapore their home, and they are representing Singapore. They ARE Singaporeans through and through in my eyes. Look it through their eyes. How would they feel when they realise that the victory that they have fought so hard for, is viewed with cynicism by people they consider their countrymen?

To those who say that this is a hollow victory, have you seen them playing the matches? I could see the determination in their eyes, wanting deep from their heart to bring glory and victory to their adopted homeland. And I was literally biting my shirt AND shouting/screaming while watching the semi-finals and finals. My heart was pounding.

Does it matter how long one has spent in the country? Is it a yardstick for identity? Please stop being so narrow-minded; how would you define as a Singaporean anyway? Also, what kind of image do you want to portray to the rest of the world? This is another form of discrimination.

I find this talk about whether it is a true victory for us distasteful. It just goes to show the entire world that we are narrow-minded, and in some sense, elitist and discriminating against other people. What happened to the "we are all equal" society?

One more thing I find interesting is that people are saying that they want a "true Singaporean" to win, and it would be a better victory. But then our society is such that we're pushed to conform in a "certification is everything" world, where a piece of paper is so important. How many parents would let their children make professional sports their career? And there they say that they want a "true Singaporean" to win the medal.

Before anyone rebuts (which I think is highly unlikely, considering the viewership of this blog, and I intend to keep it this way somewhat), please define to me what is a "true Singaporean". Hard pressed to do so? I think you're not the only one.

Light/Dark Chocolate

2008-08-13T14:48:00.005+08:00

Oh yeah. The final assignment's handed in, and all we have are the M&M of Doom papers, MEDLAW and MASINA. Okay, it's not really of Doom, it's just... interesting?

<<>

Bookpub's been fun too, and we literally ASSEMBLED a book. I kid you not. Just look at the picture on the right; those are the things we used to make the book. Yes, the HAMMER and SCREWDRIVERS too.

It was hilarious, and took more than a few hours. Who knew putting together a book was so tough? hats off to those who had to do it WITHOUT using any modern machinery. Then again, they probably tied it together, and we poked holes in it to put in the staples (or stapler bullets to those who don't really know what staples are).

Book assembly is not a job; it's an ARTFORM. It's ART. Seriously.

TWO people holding on, ONE pushing the pin through.

Pins as placeholders

Pushing it through the cover as well

We had to be careful to push them straight, or else the staples wouldn't fit through. SUPREME care had to be taken, and it was almost a.... an operation. You know nurses and doctors? Something like that. Add that to the fact that the pins were small and sharp, and you can get an idea how it got.

It was so confusing when laying out the pages so they come out right and resemble a book, that took an hour or so. Printing took another half, as there were so many misprints that it wasn't funny anymore, not to mention Mother Earth would be screaming at us (that's what I think; for wasting paper, though unintentional).

As for assembling the book so that it looks as professional as possible, let's just say we very NEARLY used nails as well. It was beginning to feel like we were assembling freaking Ikea furniture.

In my book (no pun or anything else intended), a book assembler doing it without professional machinery needs:
1) Nimble hands/fingers. How else can the staples be inserted?
2) A dummy copy of the publication. The layout has to be correct, if not how else can the book be read?
3) A WHOLE load of patience.
4) More than one person to help out. Look at the inserting pins example above to see why. If you do it yourself, you'll take ages. Good luck. And for the company; it's more fun.
5) Ruler and penknife. Come'on, you need to trim of unruly edges, don't you?
6) Anything else that I can't remember for the moment.

There's a reason why there are professional book publishers and printers, but what's the fun in that? But ask me to do that again and you better have a good enough reason for me to do so.

I have to say though, it was a very entertaining day yesterday. Anyone up for killing zombies and surviving an infestation of them? I'll get ready my traps.

P.S. The last statement is so random, that only two people as of now will understand what I mean (the two people involved in book assembly). And yeah, I don't think they even read this. (^_^)

School's starting

2008-06-22T23:02:00.002+08:00

After 2 weeks of (non)holidays, school is starting tomorrow. Not sure if nonholiday is a word, but who cares. No prize for guessing why it's a nonholiday. Oh well, I had a relatively good time as well.

For utter school-start randomness, I think just for the heck of it I'll post some lame stuff here. Like, really lame and cold jokes, pick up lines, etc. For those who really actually read this (I'm guessing somewhere between 10 to 20 people! haha), tell me if you have some more nonsensical stuff. We all need a good laugh now and again, don't we? (^_^)

Cold Ice Breakers and Jokes

Person 1: Giant polar bear
Person 2: What?/Excuse me?
Person 1: Well, it broke the ice.

Teacher: If you have 15 apples, and you gave 10 to your cousin, how many apples would you have left?
Boy: 0.
Teacher: That's wrong, do you know how to count?
Boy: You don't know my cousin.
(or goes something like that)

Some Random Stuff

1. MSN's personal message is not very personal if everyone can see it, isn't it?
2. Lady's fingers aren't actually made up of lady's fingers. It'll be really scary to eat them if they were.
3. There are 365 1/4 days in year. Since it would be really hard to count 1/4 days every year, they cumulate and add a day every 4 years (the leap year).
4. To kids, the moon is NOT made up of cheese.
5. French fries did not originate from France.
6. You play(a piano) at a recital and recite at a play.

Random Fun Sites

1. www.zug.com
2. www.braingle.com/
and other random sites.

Okay, back to work, then sleep. Then class starts. Here we go!

The World Gone Mad

2008-06-09T17:26:00.004+08:00

Hurricane Katrina. Tsunami in 2006. Sichuan earthquake. Cyclone in Myanmar. Droughts. Floods. Typhoons. One disaster after another, Mother Nature has launched an onslaught.

The world today is one that is crazy, dangerous, and unstable. Just look at the prices of oil; it nearly doubled in 2 years. Costing about USD 70 per barrel in 2006, it's now roughly USD139 per barrel. And as of now, I'm not so sure that the number has not risen.

Maybe the world's finally gone mad, and it's at its breaking point. I mean, 10 years ago you wouldn't have seen the possibility of this ever happening. I think it's the Earth's way of saying "Look, I've had enough of you destroying and plundering me. I need a break." Before anyone protests, please just take a look at what we are doing.

Factories release untreated waste into water in some countries, polluting the water and rendering it "dead". Life cannot survive in these waterways, and the people have one less source of clean water. Come'on, how hard is it to install something to treat that water?
For small savings and gains now, you harm everything else and would have to pay the price later. Of all the water on earth we just have 3% freshwater, and 2% is even locked in ice caps. How much of that 1% do you want to pollute before your eyes are open?

Then there's the greenhouse effect. We're releasing so much greenhouse gases in the air, the earth's warming up and the polar ice caps are shrinking each year. Yeah, I know that the 2% are locked there, and yippie, we have more freshwater! Wrong. Releasing more water into the oceans will destabilise the salinity balance of the oceans, which might lead to global freezing. Go search on the Internet and you can read all about it.

What I think is that the earth is in the process of renewing itself, in the sense that we have harmed and injured the earth so much that it is trying to heal itself. Maybe it sees us as viruses, and like white blood cells in our body, it's "destroying" what it thinks is a harm to itself. We have put so much strain on the earth, that now, it's strained. The population explosion, the want for more opulence, for more power, for more this and more that, it has put such a strain on the earth that it has to try to maintain some balance for it to sustain itself.

But having that train of thought doesn't make seeing such happenings any easier. For those who have been through and experienced the disasters, I can't say I feel your pain, because hell, no one can. It's only when you've been through it that you can acutely feel the pain and loss. What I feel, however, is sadness and sympathy for a fellow human being. I can't say I know the fear and loss one feels after being through such a tragic disaster, but then I can extend my hand and offer some help, as well as understanding. My worries and stresses over school work and deadlines pale in comparison to what has happened to you. Everytime I read a report of how so many died, or how someone has to lose a limb to save their life, I feel like crying. I know my feelings can never measure up to the extent of those who have been through it, I know. However, it is these feelings that make us humans, the dominant species on earth.

How I digress. But if I can say one thing that might come out of these disasters is how we can be more prepared for future occurrences. Also, in face of global warming and the skyrocketing prices of oil, I feel somewhat comforted that at least we are taking steps to preserve the earth. the Green Movement might not be new, but in light of the past few years, is gaining momentum. The papers place more prominence on addressing these issues, and governments are looking into reducing their greenhouse emissions. Previously unknown words like "carbon footprint" and "carbon offsetting" are now being bandied about, with people doing more for the environment.

Maybe we still stand a chance, and that we will last this generation, and the next, and the next. That's (somewhat) comforting, knowing that. Let's just hope it's not a case of too little, too late (which I think is not, if we act NOW).

One of those days

2008-05-30T01:01:00.003+08:00

You know the feeling that the whole world is against you, and nothing is going right? Well, I'm going through that now. I can never seem to get something right, and everything seems to be screwing up. There's this acute demoralising feeling, which is really getting to me.

However, I tell myself I must be strong. I know I haven't done more than others, and other people are juggling more things at once. Just grit my teeth, and it will be done. I can do this. Hell, I know that I have been putting things off a little, maybe because looking at what I have to do, there's this overwhelming feeling that I'm almost afraid to get myself in. However, I can do it.

The only way that I can overcome this now is to continue. Continue doing things that have to be done, continue pushing myself forward, continue moving forward. But who am I to kid, I'm no bigshot that has 2 million things to do at once. I'm just a girl fumbling, trying to find her way through. At this moment, it's the way through the mountain of assignments.

I can do it. This shall be my mantra, my driving force. Even if obstacles and problems litter my way, I can do it.

I can do it. I can do it. I CAN DO IT.

P.S. My day tomorrow looks like this; 0600:wake up, 0800-1200: classes, 1200-1300: lunch, 1300-1400: meeting, 1400-1500: travel, 1500-unknown: event and interview, night: Singapore flyer with family. One of my busiest days, good luck to me. Hope I don't fall. Scratch that, I CANNOT fall.

Just in Singapore

2008-03-14T02:28:00.005+08:00

I don't often watch Singaporean chinese dramas at 7 and 9pm, but now I am really hooked on Just in Singapore. It is a rather true reflection on some Singaporeans, which makes it more endearing to me.

Set in a block of rental HDB flats, it is where the lower-income people stay. The people who stay there are in a class unto itself, being so fundamentally Singaporean while being funny. From "Aunty Auto", who's a penny-pinching, thick-skinned auntie (no offence) and her son, to Ah Pao, who's an ex-con who has a really short temper and gruff exterior, but a kind heart, to Robert, his wife and 3 children, the couple who don't work but live off others' sympathy and are thick-skinned, there are many laughs to be had. Even Ma Zhigang, a good-for-nothing, and his granny, who collects and sells cardboard for a living, while he may seem evil there seem to be a parallel in our society now. Su Dingyi, the university lecturer whose family is rich, is interested in a straight talking girl who sells food in a pasar malam, and whose sister is interested in him. Their father's an ex-getai singer-turned-cabbie, while their mother is a poseur medium who practices favouritism to the extreme.

It strikes at the core of the heartlands, the heartwarming and funny tales. The colourful personalities of the characters also makes this a very watchable show for the family. In between the laughter and frustration (the Xiuming-Dingyi-Xiuzhen triangle especially! love that part immensely), the show will somehow set me thinking: yes, we feel indignation for granny Ma at the way her grandson treats her. But isn't it happening in Singapore? How many old folks are collecting cans and cardboard to earn a living?

Oh well, deep thinking aside. This show is great, the interaction between the characters are interesting and hilarious to say the least. Chemistry is good, and it is a good blend between young and veteran actors/actresses. For me? I'm looking out for scenes of Chengxi and Fiona! One cute the other really pretty, I think their scenes are really cute and funny! Haha, has the playful feeling. From how they met, to the times they spent together, to his confessions and her reactions, they are really priceless. (and he looks cute! wahahaha)

So yes, keep a lookout for the show on Mondays to Fridays, Channel 8, 9pm. Take it from me, someone who doesn't really watch local chinese dramas (sorry, just don't find them interesting! And, I don't really watch other channels during the peak hours except VV.), WATCH IT! It is not often that I chase a drama so fervently (the last ones I remember are Lofty Waters Verdant Bow for Raymond Lam and Michelle Yip, and World's finest for Wallace Huo and Michelle Yip).

Yepps, with that floaty feeling as well! So enjoy! I'm already waiting for the next episode to air.

Chain mails...

2008-03-11T22:54:00.002+08:00

... do NOT work. Like, hello? Sorry to those who still engage in this exercise of futility, but I have to announce that they do not work!

Let's see how do I know.. oh yeah! If it worked, i would have died maybe 5 times (in quite a few ways too, like being in an accident and just dropping off dead), been haunted by numerous ghosts and ghouls (of both genders, all ages, and maybe even a feel gender-less ones), been hated, lost my one true love (well, I didn't forward the one that says i will meet my one true love, and if I didn't I will never meet my significant other), and missed out on money given by Bill Gates(like hello, how many two weeks do you think they will take into account? Might as well throw money from the sky!).

I still remember one of the first ones I received said something about it being in circulation since around 1956. It said a teenage girl was killed/she committed suicide (can't remember the exact details), and her ghost wants everyone to know of the problem that she faced when her life was ended so suddenly. If the receiver of the email didn't send it within 24 hours to a certain number of people, she will haunt the receiver, and cause the person's death. Yeah, like they go around tracking the emails and addresses, then haunting the person. Please, I don't think email was widely used in 1956! And the ARPANET project for USA's defense systems only started in 1966, which was what the Internet evolved from. (disclaimer: if any information on the Internet and ARPANET is incorrect, tell me and I'll change. I am doing research on that!)

Okays, there are also some others that "care" for our well being. Ever see the one that says you MUST wash all clothes before wearing them, especially underwear, if not you run the risk of having worms bore under your skin, and making holes? Or a new one I just received saying if your goreng pisang stays crispy after a few hours, that means that the vendor melted PLASTIC into the hot oil before using it to fry the snacks? That's a new one that I haven't seen.

You know, I think without all this spam, our inboxes will heave a sigh of relief. Meanwhile, I shall jut read and laugh/get frustrated.

Oh well. That's life.

Oh boy.

2008-02-28T20:36:00.004+08:00

Looking at the date of my last entry, it has been a long time since I updated. Oh well, been too lazy.

Recently, I saw this army recruitment ad in a copy of March's Teens magazine.

What would you think if you saw this? "Oh well, army and all", " aiyah , all the ads the same lah", "every year the army would do this to try and attract people!", or maybe "oh! This is an interesting ad, I'm considering a career in the army!" Guess what I saw?

I looked, or glanced through, then looked back again because i saw....

Yes. Of all things, I saw the MasterChief. It's not too clear, because my handphone camera doesn't take really clear pictures. And come on, that is not even the focus of this ad. It is meant to be the background! I don't even know if it was concious or not.

Oh boy, do I need help. Where's my dose of Halo? Can the wish-granting fairy drop me Halo 3 a XBox360 now?

And I know no one reads this, so it's all fine. (^_^)v [<= that's the Jessi digital smiley. Whee!]

like a little piped piper

2007-08-15T22:58:00.000+08:00

Yeah, what the heading says. While covering an event for my NewsWriting project, I had to look for the place first. Seeing that it is in Simei, and that I have never gone there (I think), it should suffice to infer that I have no idea where it is. With only a general sense of direction thanks to the map, I walked in the general direction for a minute or so. Then, I followed the music there. Yeah, like the Piped Piper. (^_^)

And I want to thank my NewsWriting project group, as well as my TV Production group for doing an exceptional job (in my opinion). So cheerios! Everything was well done to me! (^_^)

aku tak tawu

2007-08-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

How ironic. While watching the National Day Concert in NP, the only line I recognise in that malay song the lecturers were dancing to was "aku tak tawu". How ironic, considering that that line means "I don't know" in malay. Ha. Other than that, it was an enjoyable experience.

Sitting with a few mass commers, we made lots of noise. Of course, we paid attention to it for our *ahem* NewsWriting project article, but generally we had fun. Especially with all the "noise-makers" in the goodie bags that was given out. Whenever we heard "Film and Media Studies" or "Mass Communications", we cheered! Yays!

By the end of the concert, there was a happy and "high" vibe in the atmosphere. And.. it was back to interviewing people for newswriting. Sigh. What a way to end the concert eh?

Okays okays, it is not that bad. But still yeah. Ha. (^_^)

interesting concept

2007-06-21T00:20:00.000+08:00

Okays, AMBASSADOR CAMP ROCKS!! WHEE!! I shall do another entry on that. But back to what I wanted to say in this entry.

This advertising concept is so creative!

I mean, we would not have thought of it. Do you understand what the concept is? I took a few moments before I understood.

Cheerios! And adverblog.com seriously have many interesting advertisements. Browsing that site is so much fun! Whee! Enjoy!

cool ads

2007-05-30T00:16:00.000+08:00

The breeze whispered into the ears of corn, weaving its way through the field. A beacon in the night, the moon shines with an ethereal glow, hanging in the star dotted skies. There was nary a cloud in the sky, and stars are scattered across as if someone had scattered stardust unto the dark skies.
________

That was random. Ha. Really, these ads are ingenious! Go take a look. I was fascinated! (^_^)v ==>> http://www.adverblog.com/ .

Needless to say, I had fun browsing the archives for more of these interesting ads. Makes me feel so tiny, and jealous. Give me some of that creative juice! Not that I'm not creative enough (ahem!), but more creativity = better creative ads for advertising module. Yay-ness!

Oh gosh. If this does not seem like me, it is my alter ego(es), Madame Tralala and little cuddly fuzzy bear, and maybe stardust hippo. Don't ask. Ha. Okays, I shall stop this. Too much ramblings for a day!

And we shall PREVAIL.

Happy Birthday DADDY! (^_^)v

2007-05-12T13:29:00.000+08:00

*hugs* You are now a year wiser! Haha.. (^_^)v

Thanks for being there for us, always. Have a happy happy birthday! Whee!

back for a second post today. bwrah!

2007-05-06T16:34:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it just amazes me how we always tout humans as being the most intelligent creatures, being on top of the food chain, etc. Maybe it is because of that that there is more space for error? See: the more complex something is, the more space for error, the higher chance of error. Like, you can't be wrong with 1+1=_ but if I asked you to solve f(34/x)= 23x[43/2y - 42x32y/128z(23432x + 322y)] and find the values of x, y, z, the margin for error would be bigger.

If not, explain how humans can be on the verge of destroying mother Earth and yet still be selfishly stubborn? Oh yes! We have got to be an economic powerhouse! Let us not care that the Earth is warming up, that the polar ice caps are melting at a very fast rate, and tsunamis, as well as tropical storms might destroy millions of homes. It is alright that the sea levels might rise so high that some low lying places might be flooded, and disappear forever. Call me naive, call me silly, but if those are destroyed, would there even be a tomorrow for "economic powerhouses" to display their might?

Plus, look at all the cases of abuse, of killings, of massacres, of threats. Why are the "most intelligent" creatures of all destroying their own kind? Oh yes, it is a most "natural" thing to do. Yeah right. And what is with the psyche that "Oh no! We need to stand up against the invaders! Let's... send troops to attack them!" when who suffers the most? The civilians. I know I have done this argument many times before, but it seems to me that this is what I see on a regular basis. I hope it would not turn me into a cynic and develop a detachment to these news, because I shudder to think what will become of me. It does not mean that because those things happen far from home that means that it is alright.

Think about it.

我已在尽力了

2007-05-06T16:14:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it is just.. just.. I really don't know how to say it. But all I want is for everyone to be happy, because when I see everyone happy, I feel happy too. Sadness is kept within me, so as to not affect the feelings of others. Luckily those negative and unhappy feelings disperse after awhile.

Becoming more vocal, I think this is a good sign. I mean, if we can't speak up when we are in MCM, then it would be ironic, isn't it? There is no pleasing everyone. I just want to be myself, so let me be. Try to change me, and I would not know how happy or unhappy everyone will be. Politics will always be there, personal opinions will always be there.

I realise that I do not make much sense. Neither am I to myself too. Ha. Confused poor soul? Not really, just having too many thoughts to be put down coherently. Maybe I should just shut down this whole blog, as no one is reading. Plus, I don't feel like updating so often. Call me the procrastinator, and I say yes, I know. Doing my best to fight the inner procrastinatozillaraus fedilious. Bah. I will triumph over it one day! I am sure of it. Plus the irresponsiblatornius.

The weather is really warm now, studying but getting distracted. Back to work.

quirky things i think you don't know about me

2007-04-26T22:51:00.000+08:00

Weird, quirky, unique, how to describe is up to you to decide. Just suddenly felt like doing this. Okay, long long entry coming up. Don't say I didn't warn you. (^_^)

1. I like to think up of the weirdest foods to mix, like there was this time my cousin and I BBQed prawns with apple aloe vera juice and cordon bleu at a BBQ. It was not bad! (^_^)v Or the time that another cousin and I ate plain pratas with chinese 'zhi char' dishes when our families went out for dinner together. Oh! Another thing that was rather nice: a third cousin and I (yes, I have alot of cousins!) made grilled pork with honey and cheese during another BBQ at the house of one of my aunts'. That was nice! The weird combination somehow worked. (^_^)

2. I am superbly naive. I know this is not exactly quirky, but yeah. During this year's April Fool's Day, I was tricked by 3 people, with 2 people using the SAME trick. At the SAME time. Yes, it's you, la(estella) and meehoosaki. La said that her pet rabbit died after its foot bled when it got trapped by the cage door. Meehoosaki said that his sister's pet rabbit died the day before, and they buried it already. So, imagine me believing it when he said that it was the 'imaginary rabbit' breed. Smacked myself mentally when they said that they tricked me at about the same time, and it was no coincidence that they said that at the same time. It was a conspiracy!

3. I am very blur. Emphasis on the VERY. Especially when I don't have enough sleep. There was once recently when I was going home when I saw my friend at the bus-stop. He waved and said hi, and I just stood there for awhile, thinking why he looked familiar. After 2 seconds then my brain recognised him! I went "Oh hi! I recognise you! Haha!". He was looking at me with a slightly "er, okay..." look.

4. I cry at movies, at TV dramas, while reading books, etc. In short, I cry when the scene is touching, or sad, or a combination. My mum says I'm crazy when I watch TV and cry, my brother disturbs me by pretending to cry when the scene is only remotely sad, and my dad laughs sometimes when he sees me cry while watching TV.

5. I have an overactive imagination. Not in the very creative sort of sense (I can't exactly draw well; what I draw looks so different from the nice picture I envisioned in my mind!), but the weird sort of way. Let me explain. When I was younger, I used to fear the deep end of the swimming pool because I was afraid people will throw SHARKS in it, and the shark will devour me. After I watched the vampire show by Channel 8 years and years ago, I was afraid that the vampires will come in the night while I slept, so I slept in my parents' room for awhile. I was less than 10! And I felt safe sleeping in my parents' room because I would imagine them slaying the vampires if they came, with really nice swords.

6. When I read a nice book, I would envision myself as one of the characters. As one of the heroines. Especially those that can ride a horse, since I think that is nice!

7. I act like a kid sometimes. SOMETIMES. But I'm happy! I think that people generally forget how to have fun as they grow up. I just love having fun! And I read this quote somewhere "What is the point of growing up if we can't behave like kids sometimes?", I feel it is really true. If anyone knows where is that from, tell me so I can quote it (thank you writcom, so that now I don't knowingly plagiarise someone else's work). Also, I love the book about the Fish Philosophy! I want to have such a working environment in the future. (^_^)

8. Jessi = die-hard romantic. Really. Thank you Judith McNaught, Johanna Lindsey, Sandra Brown, Jude Deveraux, Sophie Kinsella, and the likes of them. No, the books are not "bodice rippers', and I read them for the storyline. Reading of true love, of overcoming adversities, of hope, of courage, of two hearts becoming one, there is a sweetness in my heart whenever I read to the ending, which is always a happy ending.

I guess this is version 1..? Since there are some but I am not sure how to describe now. (^_^)v Before I sign off, I leave a quote that I think is very sweet! I read that in a book. Bye!

--------
"Most men love easily and often, but Jason is more like me. He will love only once - but it will be for always." - Judith McNaught, Once and Always

conflicting emotions

2007-04-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

I hate it. I hate it when the old insecurities come back, come back haunting me. I hate it when I feel that I need to keep it all in, and that I feel that I need to gain everyone's approval. I hate the insecurities. I hate feeling useless. I hate feeling left out. I hate that I have so many things to hate.

I thought I put it all behind me, that insecurity of not being liked, of being ostracised, of being disliked, one reason or another. Or maybe not dislike; more of, I am there, yet not there. Most of the time, it's gone, but it just keeps lurking around the corner. And I feel like I'm silly for crying over the simplest things, like a touching movie or story. Yes, it is fiction, but I can't help myself. Maybe I try to please everyone, and dare not really lead because I don't want anyone to be unhappy. But sometimes, people are unhappy because I don't really take initiative, or procrastinate. I wait for people to tell me what to do, because you know answering the teacher's questions in secondary one was weird? Take it from me: being told that no one liked you, that people outcast you because they think you are weird is hurtful. And being the only one without a partner almost consistently during sec 3 lab lessons was, was, I can't find a word or phrase to even describe the feeling. That is why I feel for those that are an outsider in their own classes, or wherever, because I experienced the same. Thank goodness that Hui Ting, Rosie and Jia En were there, if not, I think secondary school would be a worse experience. I could be myself. It was sad that neither of them was in my class. I'm not ranting at what happened then, but feel blessed that at the very least, I still have them 3. I try to mantain a positive outlook, if not, things will be worse. I mean, at least I have a very loving family, that I love to bits.

Before coming to poly, I promised myself that my secondary school experience would never be repeated. I will make many friends, and be part of the group. I will be happy, I will be stronger than every because of that experience. I know I have many faults, some of which include not replying to smses and emails, among others. So I came, and along the way I slowly learnt how to handle things, but I am still learning. There IS alot to catch up to, so its a learning process, making mistakes along the way. Sorry if I handled anything wrongly, if i did anything wrongly, if...

But if there is anything I want to do right, its making people happy. And I think I even screwed that up, because if I'm not wrong, at least 2 people are angry and pissed by me. I think it's okay, because the fact is that I did wrong. I will still go on smiling, and trying to make people happy because when they are happy, I'm happy. (^_^) I guess I'm still a kid at heart, and look as well as feel happy almost all the time. And I will stay strong, smile for the rest no matter what I am feeling. Smiling is good!

Okays silly silly me. I don't usually do sad posts like this, so sorry. OCC - Out of Character. Maybe OCClamonstulous is just within now. I said conflicting emotions in the header right? Now the happy happy news!

FMS WON 3rd IN THE "FUN 2007" THING TELEMATCH! WHEE! We rock! From 11th, the last position last year, we got a 3rd this year! This is SUPERB news!!

FMS, number one, don't believe, you CUKOO!
I SAY YOU SAY, I SAY,
I SAY YOU SAY, I SAY!
FMS, number two, you believe, you CUKOO!
I SAY YOU SAY, I SAY,
I SAY YOU SAY, I SAY!
FMS, number ONE, you believe, VERY GOOD!
I SAY YOU SAY, I SAY,
I SAY YOU SAY, I SAY!
I SAY YOU SAY, I SAY,
SUA!
5! 6! 7! 8!
WE ARE THE BEST!!!
WHEE!!!

I think this is hyper. Oh gosh, such a swing. But I am not a schizophrenic, don't worry! (^_^) All will be better tomorrow! ALMOST everything can be cured with a good sleep.. right..?

Okays, i think this will make just about everyone happier. (^_^)v *HUGS HUGS* HUGS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND. RAHH.

a new strain

2007-04-12T00:25:00.000+08:00

[n] tiredineedsleepyococulous.
a strain of sleepiness spread over the internet. People get infected rather quickly, usually when they always see the word 'tired'.
only known cure is to go and sleep, if not it will only worsen.
relatively easy to cure.

That was a little random. (^_^)v

Oh, and now there is a RaaRaa the Dustie-Binnie-Mannie! HAHAHA...

Well, goodnight! For real now. See what happens when I'm tired? And sleepy? But this mood is good for camps, when we are supposed to be RAH RAH RAH! WHEE! COME ON! mood. But oh wells.. I think those I talk to are used to this mood, and whatever moody feelings are lifted with this hyper-me. Well, I think so. Sort of. What do you think? (^_^)v

raptors ravens number one!

2007-04-11T19:55:00.000+08:00

Who do you want to be a?
RAPTORS WARRIOR!
Who do you want to be a?
RAPTORS WARRIOR!
How far?
ALL THE WAY!
Half way?
NO WAY!
Chicken feet?
HA HA
OHH.... RAPTORS!!
WHEE!
--- --- --- ---
Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream,
When you see a RAVEN coming,
Don't forget to SCREAM
AHH!
--- --- --- ---

I am so glad for hot water in my bath. It was just... divine. Somewhat. But I miss camp already. I miss RAVENS [my Ravenites], Raptors, and all the rest.

The cheering, the atmosphere, the activities, and most importantly, the people. Ravenites rock! We started with 8 members, and ended with 8. Our power was not lessened either, with other groups having about 10 each. Go Ravens go! I think I'm still on a camp high. Go figure. HA!

Meeting in school tomorrow, and Orientation Induction on Friday. I'm helping out, and there is the telematch later. WE WILL WIN! GO FMS GO!

With aching shoulders and muscles after camp (we ran all over the place!), there is this happiness within me, like a warm glow surrounding me. I feel that despite some minor hiccups (this is our first time after all!), it went smoothly and was a BLAST. Loved it. Also, it felt so nice to finally be a GL! (^_^)v

Before I end this, I want to say RAVENS, I love all of you! My Ravenites! Go Ravens go! Nikki, my fellow GL, my group members: Apple, Aster, Atiqah, Chee Wei, Lee Ling, Shannon, YunLin and ZiCheng. I am so glad to have met all of you, and it really has been a wonderful 3 days. See all of you around campus! Of course, not forgetting the rest of the GLs, the programme committee, the main committee, the logistics department, the cameraman, as well as the rest of the freshies for making this camp happen.

P.S. I can't resist this: BenBen! HAHA! It's such a cute name right? (^_^)v And you can't think of a nickname for me yet.. Haha..

For now, TATA! (^_^)v
*hugs hugs*

midnight influence

2007-03-20T01:01:00.000+08:00

After the hour hand passes 12, midnight begins to have an influence on you. If not, please find a logical, reasonable reason for the below conversation?

And later on this.

Totally random, totally weird, totally funny. Whee!
And meehoosaki, you know who you are! You are featured! (^_^)v

I think I am also on midnight craziness now. But who cares? This is fun! Really.

(^_^)v

20th March, 20th March.

2007-03-19T20:06:00.000+08:00

I FEEL SO LOVED. (^_^)V

*hugs hugs*

Oh, and who wants to watch Phantom of the Opera? Tell me!

The secret of Indestructability

2007-03-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

...lies in TV and movies. Really. First off, what do I mean by indestructability? It means that you can receive the worst of injuries, yet somehow, miraculously survive.

How many people can fall from a great height like Spiderman in Spider-Man 2, landing on a pile of large pipes and walked away unscathed, other than a few aches and bruises? It does not only occur in the West; it occurs in Asian dramas also.

Take the show that I am watching now on cable, The Song of Prince (or otherwise known as seodongyeo, or shu tong yao), set in ancient Korea. One of the main character,a master of the Royal Institute Mu Luoxu, was on the run from the enemy soldiers with some other people, escaping on a boat. He was shot twice by arrows, and tumbled into the sea. All thought he died. The soldiers were stuck on the island until another boat came as theirs was taken away. He manage to survive, and could run around the island, setting traps for the soldiers. WITH his injuries. And set traps on both sides of the island, in a day. Later while fighting with the commander, he fell off a cliff, to the rocky beach below. He survived, and ended up in a cave. Many people thought that he had died.

Really, how could have happened in real life? And the master is a middle-aged guy. I guess this is the secret: main characters don't die. When they do, it is at the very end that it happens. They can get thrown, slammed, shot, injured, tortured, and yet they DON'T die. It is like breaking some unwritten rule or something. On the other hand, if it was a battle scene, the extras will die with a slash of the sword. Main characters fell them by the dozens, yet never get hit. And another fun part is that when there is a face-off between 2 main characters, they will always talk as they fight. Is there another unwritten rule? At the end of the fight, they would have said everything they would have wanted to say before the one that dies falls. They won't be felled until everything has been said.

Mission Impossible 3. Tom Cruise has a bomb implanted into his brain, and has been set to explode in four minutes. In the end, he survives. But guess what? During the second time I watched it, I timed it from the time the villian enabled the bomb, to the time when he managed to short the bomb. It was closer to 7 or 8 minutes, which means he was supposed to be long dead (okay, a few minutes) before he managed to short the bomb. Time manipulation? Somehow, I don't think that he has that power (though some guy in Heroes has it). Elastic time!

Guess what is running through my head now, as I want to conclude? "All media messages are constructed.". So this indestructability is tailored for the audience, to hold them spellbound and hoping that their favourite character will not die. (suspense! and who would want their favourite character to die?)

Is that not true? (^_^)v

A lot to say, but not now.

2007-02-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

I have a load of stories to regale and share, but will do it later. Don't have the mood to type everything out now. (^_^)v

Happy Chinese New Year to all!!
*hugs hugs*

Changed skin.

2007-02-22T18:08:00.000+08:00

Okays, I just changed my blogskin, so if there are any problems, please tell me. (^_^) Thanks!

Cheerios! *hugs hugs*

HAPPY CNY!

2007-02-18T00:47:00.000+08:00

Yepps.. Happy Chinese New Year! Yays!

What else do I say..? Hmm.. I shall stay up as late as I can as with tradition. Or maybe I shall sleep. This is too close to what we have to do during the semester. Oh well, see how it goes. (^_^)

Hugs to all

2007-02-03T23:28:00.000+08:00

Hugs to all who made a difference in my life. Especially this year, when I entered poly. T110, you guys are the bestest class I ever had. Seriously.

I didn't want to blog, or rather had no intention to blog today, but after reading all of your lovely lovely posts, I just wanted to say thanks.

Officially, our class has ceased to exist. But, I know, deep within my heart it still lives on. and in the hearts of all tee-eleventians. I think I will not do what most have done, which is to write a little note to everyone, because words cannot describe the feelings I have now. Sometimes I am not the best of friend, but thanks for putting up with me.

Let us not drift apart. This is the first class that makes me feel.. blessed and loved. Really. No other class has ever made me feel this way, and this I am speaking from the bottom of my heart. Just thinking of it, that we will have to part in the next sem, I feel like.. crying already. But no, I think I am going to laugh. Not because I am glad to be leaving the class (in fact, it is the opposite!), but smiles for the times we had together. I know this is cheesy, but here it goes: "as we go on, we remember, all the times we, spent together" - Vitamin C .

Class convos are so much fun! It would be more fun if everyone was there.. It is insanely fun, and the messages scrolled so fast! When I checked, there were times when a few messages were posted at the SAME SECOND. WOOHOO!!

The seperation of the class soon is not the end; it is a new beginning. I think coming to poly was one of the best choices I made in my life so far, because of all of you. of all the fun, and everything. Let us stay as happy, as bonded, as lovely, as HOT, as insanely wonderful people. (^_^)

And so, I think I shall end this post. for now.
-because this is not the end but a new chapter-

That Surreal Feeling.

2007-02-02T09:07:00.000+08:00

The school term is ending in about a week. I am now getting the same surreal feeling that I got near the end of the previous term, only this time, the class of tee eleventy will be split into different classes in year 2. Seriously, cross my heart, this is one of the best class that I have ever been part of, and I am really thankful that I have come here, to be a part of this class, to have met you all.

The funny nicknames. the laughter. the tears. the late nights. the projects together. the meals. the classes. the camaraderie amongst us. the drama. the lecturers. the teasing. the little little gossips sometimes. just, all of us together.

Really, the end of the school puts me in 2 minds. One, I'm happy that hte holidays are here, but at the same time, I will miss school, and all of tee eleventy-ers. (^_^)

Cheerios.
Hubble Bubble Tea is yummy

-Title-

2007-01-28T23:37:00.000+08:00

Okay, so the title isn' t exactly the most original around. But hey, I don't know what to put for a title, so here this goes.

For the first time in, I think, my entire life, I have been called greedy by a little girl who is about 4 or 5. I was having dinner with my family, my aunt, my uncle and my cousin's family today. My little niece, who was the one who called me greedy, was very fascinated by the fishes in the tanks outside of the restaurant.

So I was eating, and she was asking me to go look at the fishes with her. She wanted to show me a 'big' shark! I told her that I was still eating, and will go look with her later. After awhile, she asked me again. Again, I said I was eating. She then said to me "Why you so greedy one?" innocently. When my family and relatives heard it, we all burst out laughing. My niece was then so shy and embarrassed and hid her face in my uncle's shoulder. They then disturbed me and kept asking me why was I so greedy.

That is the attraction of kids: they say what they want to say, at anytime, without thought most of the time. They have that innocence and trust in everyone that most of us, in fact I think all of us, lose as we grow older. From time to time, let us then let go of our suspicion and be like the little ones, innocent and trusting. I think we will all be happier because of it.

(^_^)

Warning: Emo-ish

2007-01-09T01:11:00.000+08:00

Yes, I am feeling down now. I have no idea why am I even doing this when there is speech due and writcom due. I just... Need a place to vent my feelings. Rant, if you would like to call it as such.

Sometimes, I just.. don't know why am I doing these things anymore. When there is school, I want holidays. Vice versa for holidays. Just got back my writcom paragraph assignment results, and I failed by that ONE MARK. It was not that my paragraphs had no substance; they just didn't have the correct/enough citations. According to the paper, I had plagarised EVERY SINGLE PARAGRAPH. Not the whole things, but just used some information that needed to be cited and I didnt. I love writing. So you can imagine how I was feeling when I received my results. So I didn't go for training. So I was in a bad mood. That DOES NOT give you the right to LECTURE ME. My parents didn't, my classmates didn't, my brother didn't. And so STOP TRYING TO SOUND LIKE YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND.

And great. Now you made me blow my top. And you made me cry, for some stupid reason. Because for no reason at all you started lecturing me when I am feeling down. I don't know. I thought you were sempai, then you said I had to apologise before you will be my sempai again. I don't know for what idiotically stupid retarded reason you said that. Because I asked you to "shh" when I was studying for a test? Isn't that too CHILDISH or something? Wow. I thought you were more MATURE than that.

And now I am officially going to be dead since I haven't finished my info essay and speech. Nice going, nice...

I am going to be fine tomorrow, the same carefree, perpetually smiling girl tomorrow. I just needed to rant. Cheerios! (^_^)v

I think I am just going to sleep now, since it is already so late and I have gone nowhere with both my essay and speech. Think I will be in the school library until evening to do it.

Wish me luck. Lots of it (^_^) And to end it...
(>^_^)> v(^_^)v <(^_^<)

Attack of the flying cockroach

2007-01-08T00:45:00.000+08:00

A cockroach FLEW in my window just now, and I freaked out. There I was, doing my research properly[and chatting!], and it had to attack me. I heard a sound, and saw vaguely something flying around. It then flew to the top of my radio, and I positively freaked out. I let out a low scream, and fled the room, leaving the ridding of the cockroach to my maid.

Yes, I am very afraid of cockroaches. Especially flying ones. And all creepy crawlies. Or slimy things. So, if after this anyone of you tries to pull a fast one on me with these things, be it on April Fool's or anything, I will personally make sure you regret it if it is the last thing I do.

Four words: I. Cannot. Stand. Them.

There, succintly put. (^_^)

Now, back to a little of speechcom, and writcom. Then to bed.

Blur Queen

2007-01-04T09:35:00.000+08:00

That dubious honour has to go to... me.

Much as I don't really like to accept it, I have to say that I am super blur. There is not speechcom today, and I came for the lesson. And before that I mixed up the date to hand in the phonetic journal, even though it is writted in the brief. Real smart jess, real smart. So the test is at 6.30, and I don't want to go home and come here again.

So now I'm supposed to continue my revision, but I'm having a pointless-ly fun conversation with Mok. And... he set a trap. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Darn it! [I am silly X 50] Oh my gosh... Now I have this forboding feeling, that I am going to be so dead. *braces myself*

I need to stop being so blur. Stop...

I think it is going to be hard to escape this now.

And, in the name of pointless fun, I give you (>^_^)> v(^_^)v <(^_^<) T_T o_O".
*claps claps* (^_^)v

To all the chain-mailers,

2007-01-02T22:57:00.000+08:00

This is for you.

I received this in an email from my parents (actually, I read it and sent it to myself using their account), and it reflects cynicism that I personally feel.

---- ---- ---- ----

Dear Family and Friends,

With the new year almost upon us, I'd like to extend my heartfelt appreciation to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy. Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on envelopes - because I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a cologne sample and rob me.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are poor mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the Internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time) because of a breast growing out of her forehead that smothers her.

My super went to a boy in Namibia who was eaten by his fellow orphans in the home whose director took my donation and moved to France with his 12 yo twin boyfriends. I have the photos.

I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the $ 15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special on-line email program. It is being held up by the sheer volume of holiday mail at this time of year.

Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour!

If you don't send this bloody e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 seconds, a large pelican with an accursed infectious case of transgender diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:30PM this afternoon and empty its bowels on you.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Happy 2007!!!
Have a good year.

---- ---- ---- ----

In addition to that list of things, I would like to add the if-you-don't-send-the-mail-on-the-ghost-will-haunt-you or you-will-die-a-horrible-death mails. And that has happened before too, you know. I am now griped my fear, and with shaking hands I press the forward button to send it to more people.

Happy 2007! (^_^)

The year is near the end.

2006-12-30T15:43:00.000+08:00

First of all, Happy Birthday Joel! (^_^) Though sometimes you really try my patience, and 'argue'' with me, plus disturbing me for no reason at all, here i am wishing you happy birthday. You can finally watch a NC16 film! And stop getting stuck with talking into the mike the whole day, being a 'flight controller'.

The end of year 2006 is coming to an end. What have I achieved in this period of time, what has transpired in the course of the year? The happy, unhappy and not-so-happy stuff..?

One momentous event was getting my O'Level results. It was, in a nutshell, much better than I had expected, considering my prelim results. I remember the feeling of disbelief in that school hall, that immense happiness and relief that I had done well. Then it was my entrance to a poly. The FOC camp, where I made many friends across all courses. [Go OANNES! Furthermore, rae was in oannes 1, estella was in oannes 2, and i was in oannes 3!(^_^)v Though we didn't see each other during the camp..] Class T105/T110, where I felt a sense of belonging to the class. I opened up, and became more of an extrovert. I know, you all still mostly don't believe that I was rather introverted in sec school. Thank you all... *big hug!* And thank you too, Aikido-ans. The trainings, the dinners, the outings, the grading[s], it was and still be fun! At the same time learning how to defend outselves.

I could go on and on, but I really need to get back to SOCPSYCH and WRITCOM... Haven't finished it yet, so post more the next time. (^_^)v

Lastly, Happy New Year to all!! Let everyone stay happy throughout the year, and stay cheerful. (^_^)v

Merry Christmas/Boxing Day!

2006-12-26T15:33:00.000+08:00

Just reached home yesterday after a trip to KL, Malaysia. I have got to say, this was not how I could ever envision spending my Christmas: on a road trip home. Still, I was glad we made the trip up because I miss my relatives! Yes, it was a trip to visit my relatives. We had a fun time, though the few places of interest we went to, like the SkyBridge, and some science centre, the tickets for the day were sold out though we went at, around noon. The aquarium had a long, long queue, and we thought that the rewards was not worth the queue.

Even so, it was a fun trip! How I missed those fun times when my cousins, relatives etc. would gather and we would have a fun time together. Oh, and I spent Christmas countdown in the toilet. Oh, the indignity. Just kidding. With so many people, we had to wait for our turn in the bath queue. For that day, I was the one to go in at 11 plus in the night. Needless to say, I wasn't quick enough to countdown together. What an experience! (^_^)

So now that christmas has passed, the new year is approaching, as well as the Chinese New Year. (^_^)v Yay! I can then see my relatives, etc again! It is always a fun time whenever we meet.

My own MSN emoticons! (^_^)v

2006-12-18T17:49:00.000+08:00

This is just so cool! (^_^)v

I have my very own set of MSN emoticons. Uniquely mine! Thank you Feng sempai... I shall not call you Kariya now[unless you really make me angry!], and try my best not to call you bobohead! Heehee.. (^_^)v

Very kawaii right..? (^_^)v And it is so fun to use personalised emoticons!

Bear eats Monkey!!

2006-12-14T15:47:00.000+08:00

Okay.. So, a bear ate a monkey at the zoo.

One day they will be at the top of the chain as they eat their way up the evolution chain - up to the humans! Hahaha... Colbert is funny.(^_^)v

All that I wanted to tell at once.

2006-11-29T00:19:00.000+08:00

No matter what the title seem to suggest, this is just the thoughts that I wanted to post up and didn't get around to typing.

Yes, I know my entries are sporadic at best.

First, big hugs to my SOCPSYCH group! Wonderful people... Nitha, Mok, Ashley, you guys are just GREAT! Oh my goodness... 72 slides and a 2-and-a-half minute video in 14 minutes and 28 seconds. We did it!

Thinking of the upcoming COMISSUES assignment. It is really hard to take a stand. I mean, there is always shades of grey involved in any matter. Both sides are also justifiable, so which is 'correct'? And who made the rules for what is deemed as 'correct'? I remember this quote I heard during history classes in secondary school. It goes something like 'the victors are the ones who write the history books'. This seemingly simple sentence triggers a lot of thought, does it not? As we have learnt in MEDISOC, all media messages are constructed. Furthermore, my point of view might not concur with yours. So who is to say what I am right and you are wrong? Or the other way around? A person of higher authority? Then who vested the power unto the - person to determine right from wrong? Since opinions vary, and we are all entitled to our own opinions.

Enough on that. I am diverging too much, which I tend to do when I start thinking more on a topic. I could go on and on, but wanted to finish this post as soon as possible to get back to COMISSUES.

There was this youth display, or something close to it in the Atrium today. I am not too sure how long it lasts, but I guess that it will still be there tomorrow. There have free hand paraffin for trying. Candy, Estella, Rae and I went to try it out. It was rather fun! Or rather, it was a new experience for me. They rubbed some lotion into our hands, and dipped them into hot, melted wax. Then, a small, plastic bag was placed over our hands while the wax solidified.

Christmas is coming! And Death Note the 2nd movie is hitting our screens soon. I want to catch it when it airs! (^_^)

Going back to books, homework and assignments now. Concentrate.. Concentrate... I get distracted a little easily. So, yepps. (^_^)v

-a short snatch from the song I am listening to now.我送你離開，千里之外，你無聲黑白 This song is nice!

I might not be who you think I am.

2006-11-21T21:36:00.000+08:00

It is just, sometimes I dislike myself for the things that I do, or not do. Like, procrastinating, then regretting why I didn't finish it earlier. Like, being indecisive. Like, being so quiet in secondary school when I wanted to speak out. Like, being afraid to speak in front of a crowd, of wishing always for praise.

Why can't I grow up? As in, stop wishing for praise. When I put in a lot of effort and don't get praise, I feel really disappointed. That is why sometimes I like to show people my works that I am proud of, hoping for praise. It just... feels like a three-year-old kid looking for praise after being able to count to ten. Sometimes, I wonder why I still hanker for praise from others. Is it a low self-esteem, and needing confirmation? I have no idea, I really don't.

Why do I procrastinate? I am doing my best, doing my best to change that bad, horrid habit/trait of mine. But.. But.. Why am I still like that..? I will continue to change.. Continue to do my best in changing... I will... I will...

People, manners...?

2006-11-20T09:25:00.000+08:00

Please, people taking the MRT, let the passengers alight first BEFORE squeezing into the carriages! It certainly defies logic! If all you boarding passengers do not let alighting passengers off first, there is no space for you to squeese in. Logical right...? And why do people try to rush in once the doors open? Will something happen if you let the passengers alight before squeezing your butt, big or otherwise, in the carriage? I believe not. Or is it just plain KASUISM? Enough ranting. Just... Please display an iota of courtesy, and let people off first. After all, it defies logic not to let them off first, right?

On another note, sorry daddy for causing you to be unable to sleep last night... The coffee I made was too potent, due to the fact that I didn't know how to make a decent cup of coffee(yes, I can't) and put in too much coffee powder.

I know... I know... I haven't updated for a long time. Gominasai! Every time I want to upload I end up not doing so. (^_^)

Hell Explained..?

2006-10-12T01:15:00.000+08:00

Really, people can really be very creative. Whoever said that exams are boring? That we just need to regurgitate what er have read? And that only the people who answers questions from the textbook verbatim score the best? Below is an example of creativity in answering exam questions. I salute/applaud that student for creativity.
_____________

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”.
________________

Does this put a new spin on things? Haha.. (^_^)

Random Rambly Rantings

2006-10-06T13:37:00.000+08:00

Mookcake festival today. My mum made jelly mooncakes! Yummy yum yum! Loves it, especially kiwi-cheese. It may sound wierd, but it tastes so nice, so I don't care by what name it is known. Lovely...

Suddenly, this sem break I am on an anime craze. I finished anime: Bleach, Kyou Kara Maou; manga: Bleach, Death Note; continuing and waiting for the next episodes/chapters to Bleach.

Manga goes to the movies! The first part of Death Note will be airing in cinemas on 10 October, and Bleach has a movie! Though Bleach the movie will be airing in Japan sometime in December, and I still have no idea whether it will hit our shores. Hope they will air it here! *crosses fingers* Somehow I can't get enough of shinigamis, zanpaktous and the rest... Interesting!

Death Note the movie: Part 1 is airing soon, and we will have to wait for the next part, Death Note: The Last Name to be aired... In Japan and some other places the second movie will be airing in October too. Can't wait for it to air! The plot is solid, and I really applaud the writers of the manga, as the scheming of the characters, as well as sleuthing abilities are top notch. It will leave you hanging on the edges of your seat, as an elaborate game of cat-and-mouse unfolds. The web of deceit, and tangle of lies, the complex schemes to stay one step ahead...

Bleach! It is still ongoing, and being aired in Japan. Subbers work rather fast, and I can get my hands on the next episode of the anime or the next chapter of the manga fairly quickly. Thanks to the subbers and uploaders, as well as those who are involved in bringing us the latest episodes! Characters are a diverse bunch, from the super cute(yachiru!), to the serious ones, never losing their cool(byakuya). From the a-little-crazy(zaraki), to the impatient(ichigo). There is a deluge of interesting characters in it.

Kusajishi Yachiru! A vice-captain. Don't let her cute exterior fool you; to be a vice-captain, she has to be a very good fighter to say the least.

Whitey-chan! Hitsugaya Toushiro, one of the 13 captains. Hailed as the boy genius, youngest captain ever. He looks so cool!

Okay, I think I will end the post here. (^_^) Ciao! Signing off.

Ihavenoideawhy

2006-10-03T23:13:00.000+08:00

Really. The font on my mac is just fine, but then people have been saying that my font is too small. Is this all right now? Don't be afraid to give me comments... Honest opinions are the best!

Please tell me if there is anything wrong.. Or anything that is not quite right with this blog. That didn't come out quite right, but you get the gist of it.

Thanks! Arigatou! (^_^)

Bowling is...

2006-09-17T18:04:00.000+08:00

Fun. Interesting! At least, the rather bad experience at one of the bowling centres didn's spoil the fun yesterday. My nephew bowled his first ever game yesterday, and my brother and I went to ask the counter staff how to put up the bumpers. We went to the counter, and asked the man manning the counter. He told us to wait for a moment, as he settled some of the people wanting to pay, as well as settling the bookings and bills. We waited, and waited and waited. One after another, the customers came and went in a steady stream. All this time, we waited and waited and waited. My dad and my nephew came to check on us for a few times, yet he STILL didn't tell us how. In the end, my brother OVERHEARD ANOTHER CONVERSATION that to put up the bumpers, we needed to approach the person manning the shoe rental counter.

Imagine. I think that either 1. he didn't care for us, 2. he forgot about us 3. he was really too busy to talk to us, or 4. he didn't take us too seriously. I was really getting rather infuriated. Oh, he was too busy to take 5 seconds to tell us to approach the person manning the shoe counter. He was so busy for maybe 15 minutes to take 5 seconds to tell us. Then the person manning the shoe counter that out lane didn't have bumpers. That was that.

Furthermore, the lane cheated me of my strike. All the pins went down, but they recorded that NINE pins went down. Not my TEN. The next time, I would not go to Orchird Country Club's bowling centre already. I vastly prefer SAFRA's.
Disclaimer: The above is purely my own thoughts. There is no intent to defame the centre. Maybe it was just a one off event. Maybe they were just too busy. -_-"

On another note, my nephew, Ryan, bowled his first game ever. Even without bumpers, he managed to hit some pins down, albeit that most of the balls landed into the drain. I pity the floor though, as he seemed to be throwing the ball straight to the floor.

It can be said to be a good as well as a bad experience. Interesting, how it turned out. (^_^)

He who needs to be Threatened.

2006-09-09T23:35:00.000+08:00

According to my friend, this was supposed to be a free bowling event. According to my friend, this is not a competition. According to my friend, this was to be a fun event, as well as a chance to meet again. However, it turned out to be a bowling competition among the different CCs. In the end, I knew that it was a competition when I turned up at the event.
Fpr the competition, each bowler was to bowl for 3 games. Despite my efforts to break the 100-mark, it was out of my reach in the first game. In comparison for the whole of the competition, I did the worst in the first round. In the ssecond and third game, I tried to break the 100-mark but to no avail. It is a friend of mine, who my friends and I call Xiao Long, who managed to do so. In the third game, he even scored an impressive 148, just 2 points shy of 150! It was, in no less effort of us. When it was his turn, we put pressure on him to either bowl a strike or spare. If not, he would have to strip. Imagine out surprise when he managed to do so! The results speak for itself.

Look at the 1st row for his score! It is in the end then we threatened him... (^_^)

Without a doubt, we didn't win. But, everyone got a trophy of participation! Later, I went to join my friend(Vanessa) and my mum's friend at orchard. (My friend is my mum's friend god-daughter) Went shopping for awhile. We looked at so many accessories! They were so nice, but many were too expensive. Bought a cute neckace and matching bracelet. (It's a set) Went for dinner at Orchard Hotel. Had buffet.. It was great! There was a chocolate fountain, ice cream, yummy cheesecake, really fresh drunken prawns and many others. Vanessa and I ate alot. Round after round after round, we ate and ate and ate.

The toilet taps were, wierd. Went to the toilet, and when we tried to wash our hands, the water was HOT. I mean, really really hot. Even though there were 2 taps(for a spout) to control the temperature, both turned out to be for the HOT water. We could see STEAM rising out of the basin. In the end, we looked like 2 retarded homophobics trying to wash hands for the first time. To ensure that we didn't burn our hands, all we could do was to swipe our hands to catch some water, over and over again. Or maybe practicing some lost skill, and in the future write a book on the intricacies on how to wash hands with hot water and not get burned. A manual to be passed down... It will be a skill to be passed through the ages.

"Kids, this manual is passed down from the time of your great-grandmother. She brought to us the skill of protecting outselves from burns! Even if... you had to wash hands with hot water."

Okay, this might be carrying things too far, but then you get the gist of it. I think this is due to the fact that it is late at night, and I am sleepy already. Before I finish my entry, look at the cute ice cream dessert that Vanessa and I designed.

By Vanessa.

By me.

That'sall for now!

New...?

2006-09-08T12:32:00.000+08:00

Tell me, is there a difference between a pack of Kinder Bueno and a pack of 3 Kinder Bueno, other then the obvious fact that there will be 3 times as much Kinder Bueno to enjoy?

As you see, there is a 'New' Kinder bueno!

Imagine a marketing campagin for this 'new' product. "People, just for you, we have come up with a 'New' KInder bueno! Instead of ONE pack, we have binded it into THREE packs for maximum enjoyment! Share with friends, enjoy it THREE times! WHye settle for ONE when you can have THREE?"

Is it just me or there is something that is... wrong with this? I mean, fundementally, the Kinder bueno is still the same product. What they did was to bundle THREE packets into ONE. It is cheaper(price promotion. Oh great, marketing is still with me.), there is more, but the product is still essentially the same. Is it really New?

New blogskin up!

2006-09-06T23:21:00.000+08:00

Yes, I finally got my blogskin up. Decided that it was now or never, so got down to putting it up as soon as possible since I had time. Any comments on this skin? Maybe a longer post the next time. Is it changed yet?

Tired? Yes, but happy too

2006-09-03T12:25:00.000+08:00

I went to Sentosa yesterday, and ice-skating on Friday. Imagine, two days of activities. My legs are aching today! It was so much fun... Will update on the whole of what happened when I am not so tired. I am still tired..

A new blogskin is done, and I will put it up when I am not so lazy, and not so tired. (^__^)

At long last...

2006-08-20T22:54:00.000+08:00

...I finally carried my baby nieces, albeit that someone had to place them in my hands first. It is not that I have a phobia of babies, it is just that they are just 1 month old, and look so small and fragile. Didn't want to hurt them accidentally when I was carrying them, so I was thinking of carrying them after they were strong enough to support their own heads.

In the end, they won out. They looked so cute, that I could not resist carrying them. I found that it was not so bad, and as long as i didn't move overly much, there was a very very minimal chance that they will be hurt by me. I even fed them! They keep sleeping when they are fed, so we had to keep reminding them to drink.

Next lesson to learn: how to carry from the bed and such. As of now, someone must still place them in my arms, and carry them away as I still could not carry them straight, afraid of harming them in my ignorance. It is still a vast improvement from not carrying them at all!

Really. Soon, they will be able to support their heads by themselves. Soon they will learn to talk. Soon they will learn to walk. Babies grow up fast.

Another thing, my friend and I were attempting to teach the twins as many languages as possible. If my memory still serves me, I remember a NewsWeek article stating that babies pick up the nudances of languages the fastest in their first year or so. We spoke english(usually spoken to them), mandarin, a little tamil, a little cantonese, some japanese and some korean to them. That should give them some headstart i surmise, though some languages we only knew a select few words. I think they might get it. Infants are smarter than we thought.

They have so tiny hands and feet, and their whole hand can grab just the top of a finger. It is, wonderous to think that we were once like them, so little, so delicate.

So, at the ripe old age of 17, I am aunt to 1 nephew and 5 nieces at last count. Wow. Makes a person feel somewhat old, being called an aunt. Hmmm....

Somebody just smack me.

2006-08-19T16:17:00.000+08:00

GREAT. MEDISOC exam is coming up and I have not finished my revision. Have not really started actually. Why? I have no idea what is wrong with me! Oh my goodness gracious me.. I seem to be really distracted, and cannot really revise. And I am going out later. Now can you see why do I need people to smack me?

Please not too hard, just enough for me to wake up will be good. Sometimes I really, don't like myself for being so easily distracted, for this lack of self dicipline. I WILL do something about this...

Oh-gosh-golly... Smack...

Library fun

2006-08-16T15:25:00.000+08:00

I update whenever I feel like it. Or rather, I update when I am not lazy. As in, I wanted this update up like, few days and where am I? Few days later then I update.

Library is really a nice place to chill out. Whith the great beannie bags, it was a nice place to hang out. I spent the whole afternoon with candy, rae, qixin, estella and xiuling there. The beannie bags were big and so comfortable! To just curl up there and read a book, spending the time there, without a care for the world, especially since we went there after our marketing test, it was just bliss then. Fun!

Chill out time... School holidays are upon us soon!

Flash down!

2006-08-11T15:58:00.000+08:00

I just submitted my flash assignment. Another project down! A part of me give thanks, whine another part is reluctant to finish it up. It was fun while it lasted, though it was a little tedious and tiring doing it.

It all seems a little surreal- is a semester really about to end? It seemed not too long ago when I stepped into the premises on my first day. Now, the semester is ending. At least my class still gets to stay together. At least, for another semester. This is another chapter in my life.

Now, there is an exam tomorrow, Principles of Marketing Communication. It is an important module, so all the best to me and everyone else! We can do it!

After countless late nights, it is going to be the semestral break soon. Go for it! Put in 100% or even 200% if you can! Go!

P.S. I think I am in a hyper mood now, even though my back is aching after so long of hunching over my laptop...

Silly BillY Me

2006-08-03T00:22:00.000+08:00

I have no idea what is wrong with me today! How could I have deleted my Documents file? Now all my schoolwork is gone. I stopped the deletion as soon as I detected an abnormality, but then it was too late. My whole 'School Stuff' folder was gone. Poof. Vanished. My green tea presentation powerpoint was gone, and my group was supposed to hand in in with out templates on the 2nd AUGUST 2006. I feel so guilty. Guys, I am so sorry. So sorry for my green tea project group, as we have to do the slides again. Luckily, we still have the information scattered in the computers of the group.

Argh! My brother tried to help me recover that file, but it was futile. How can I be so silly? Silly, silly me. Blur block me. Sotong me. Next time, check before emptying trash can!!

That is really not all. All of a sudden, while I was digitising halfway, the deck gave up on me. It just suddenly refused to work. I mean, I could rewind, fast forward, and play, but absolutely nothing can be seen on the screen and nothing was being digitised. Great. Fortunately, I managed to finish digitising in the end.

All in all, CATS was the most interesting yet, DanceSports was fun, and at least I know my luck didn't totally desert me. And my dad waited for me to give me a lift home! (^_^)

For What?

2006-07-29T18:15:00.000+08:00

Editing test yesterday was, in all, rather bad... There was not enough time, hh was beving very mean, i was freezing, and i made a silly mistake. Nearly hyperventilated, luckily didn't. Mdm perfectionist here usually takes her time to edit, as she wants it to look as perfect as possible. Panicking, i feel that i didn't do as well as i could. Oh well, i did my best.

Was supposed to take a half hour nap, ended up sleeping more than 3. As usual, me, who likes to sleep, turned off the alarm and fell asleep. I updated my blogs today! [Yes, to all who say that i seldom update. So there! (^_^)] Did a thinking piece on my blogdrive blog. It is the sad truth of reality, of humanity.

A truckload of projects to do, and i have not done much. Go for it! Let's all do well together! (^_^) Cheerios!

I'm an aunt.. Again!

2006-07-24T00:34:00.000+08:00

Yes, as you all can see in the heading, I am an aunt again, twice over. My cousin's wife had delievered twin girls yesterday. They are cute! And small, and vulnerable, and utterly cooed over.But when I look at them, I think of how wonderful, how miraculous life can be. This wisp of a person will grow and blossom, ultimately having kids not unlike their current states. I'm digressing.

Aren't they cute?

Me and Ryan, my cute nephew.

Another picture of us. He is 5 this year. Of the 2 pictures, he took one of them. Guess which one? (^_^)

I took the top picture. He took the bottom picture. He told me "See, I told you I can take picture." Cute? He can play a lot of stuff. Comes to my house to play XBox, has a PlayStation at home, Gameboy Advanced XP, plays the computer... No wonder he is wearing spectacles at age 5.

I'm going to sleep now. Good night to all. Cheerios! (^_^)v

Bad day, Good day

2006-07-20T22:14:00.000+08:00

I had stomach pains after lunch. Have no idea why, just had these piercing, intense short bouts of pain in the upper area of my abdomen. When it hurt, I just couldn't stand straight. LOCVID filming after lunch was hellish for awhile. Not the filming, only my stomch pains. Filming was fun! Is fun! Always fun!
I was so nervous that during GRACOM consultation today, kokkee would give us back our projects. Known to be strict, I was afraid that I will fail.(NO!!) In the end, he didn't return them to us. He didn't even tell us the results! Now I will STILL be nervous next week.
LOCVID filming today was nice! Loved the scenes. I am a die-hard romantic, love those sappy stuff, soak up those star-crossed-lovers drama on TV, in short, all the romantic, tearjerker stuff. The scenes today was so sweet! Sugar rush. Teeheehee...
We are digitising the footage we shot today tomorrow! So we can do the editing for tha t 1st, and then when we film the next parts as well as digitise them, there is not so much work to do.
Can't wait to try out Final Cut Express! The previous projects I used iMovie, as it is a more familiar program. This time, I am excited to use a more professional and stronger program to do my edit!
Hope my bout of stomach pains will ebb tomorrow. If not, I dread for my test...
Cheerios!

Gasp [Panics and faints]

2006-07-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

Last week, I was not feeling well on Wednesday, so I went to the doctor got an MC and medicine and rested at home. This week, at S&W, (mine is DanceSports!) i fumbled big time. They learnt new moves last week, and i just, didn't know what to do. Candy and me were looking so lost. Luckily, the people from DanceSports(CCA) taught us the steps. Even so, we floundered. The music, the beat was too fast. Jive is not like cha-cha. The feeling Jive gives me is of... a jumping lamb. Don't ask me why, the impression is just that.

I was panicking. Seeing the rest spin, turn and do what I did not, the thought flashing through my mind was "Oh my goodness gracious me! How? How? What is that move again?!" Sighh. Will not miss any S&W again. The saddest thing was, recently I seem to have bad luck on Wednesday. Sick last Wednesday, had diahorrea(spelling correct? Can never seem to get that spelling correct. Oh wells.) today. Was supposed to have CATS meeting at 9am today, but turned up at 12.30 instead. The presentation went well overall, though the 'attack' on us through the barrage of questions during the Q&A session dragged our group's presentation to about 1 hour. 1 hour! Imagine. Though at least that is over. (^_^)

Having LOCVID filming tomorrow. Yay! I like filming, Though it is not me in front of the camera(wanted to try, but no one asked me to act. Sighh..), it is fun nevertheless. Superb experience! Tiring, but interesting, fun...

Smiles! We can do it! Let us all do well! (^_^)v Cheerios!

Lighting is fun!

2006-07-17T21:30:00.000+08:00

Seriously. For out LOCVID (Location Video Production) workshop class last Friday, we had loads of fun. With 3 lights, the key light, the field light and the back light, as well as a few different colour filters, we set out to experiment with the lighting.

This is with a green filter. Spooky... You can relax though, it's just Ashley there. Sccary though?

Liked this shot of me! Isn't that just nice? I just did what the rest of tem told me to. (^_^)

A group of T105 chio girls. Self praise? Not when it is the truth! This shot came out way cool. The red filter, the cool girls posing for the camera, and this shot was done.

Colour play was nice! Estellla, with the lights shining, and the 2 different colour filters on the lights.. The blending is nice... (^_^)v Cheerios!

Jessi

"The Beautiful Game"

2006-07-01T22:45:00.000+08:00

The "Beautiful Game"'s biggest event is now ongoing: the World Cup. This event will set off a war within me: the logical side and the emotional side.

The logical side:
What is so interesting about 22 grown men chasing after a ball, and behaving like naughty kindergarten kids at times? I mean, what is with the "diving", tugging and purposely-taking-another-player-down-and-hope-that-the-referee-doesn't-see-that thing? The men are paid astronomical sums to play a game. What they earn in a month, or even a week, is what some people earn in a year.

The emotional side:
The excitement of the game, the adreneline rush in your blood, these are experiences that are very hard to explain. Just like getting caught up in the the mood of a party, there might be no logical explaination to the feelings. Like how we choose to support a team, it more often than not based on emotional feelings, not by how well they might play.

So, go teams go! At times like this, maybe it will be better not to be too logical, and just enjoy the magic of the moment...

Another test down

2006-06-27T10:05:00.000+08:00

I have finished the Web Design test! Whew... I thought I would take a long time as I was stuck a few times. Luckily, the answer was hidden somewhere in my brain, and I managed to get the answers out. Some parts of it I was still not very sure. Oh well, it is over and try to forget it.. No use crying over spilt milk right?

Now, we are seated in the class. This is so funny! We are sitting less than 2 metres away from each other, and we are chatting online. We finished the test early, and was allowed to do whatever we want. Actually, if we wanted to leave the class it was possible also. Haha...

Our class is super. (^_^)v

Freaked Out

2006-06-22T19:58:00.000+08:00

Sighh. Shasha, now i know how traumatic it is to find a worm in your rasins. I found one in my box last night, and was freaked out! I mean, luckily I was looking out. The rasin in question was on the way into my mouth when I saw something white on it. Upon looking more closely, it started to move.

Seriously. I am not on Fear Factor, and I do NOT want things to be still crawling about when I am eating them. With the morbid curiosity that is inbuilt in us humans, after throwing that rasin down on the tissue, I stared at the wriggling worm on the rasin. Albeit being freaked out and all, I was still self-inflicting torture on myself by looking at it closely. Needless to say though, I did not eat the rest of the rasins.

Temporarily, I have sworn off boxed rasins. Or if I eat them again, a through check is in order. Just thinking that I nearly ate that crawling worm makes me feel disgusted. Worse part was, when my mum checked the rest of the boxe (the strip of 6 small boxes?), she spotted worms too. Let's hope that this does not happen again, shall we?

Filming

2006-06-18T13:57:00.000+08:00

Filming is so tiring work. Seriously.

It was and still is fun, but then very tiring. For less than half an hour of footage, we shot from 2pm to 10 pm. That is a solid 8 hours! Though there were a few breaks in between, generally we were shooting and preparing to shoot. Wad tired out, but had loads of fun! (^_^) v Now, for the editing! We need to digitise it first though. Rather like editing. Just an interest i guess. I like to do alot odf things!!

Sighh. Have no idea what else to write!! Test tomorrow, revision not done. There, this entry is done. Time for revison

[I sound rather wierd right?]

Heyys.

2006-06-07T19:19:00.000+08:00

Heyys! My class rocks. Visit moi class blog at t105.blogspot.com!! Haha... There you can see juicy stuff on our class!!

Life so far has been interesting, as well as tiring. Although tiring, but also fufiling! Haha... Been keeping some late nights, so might turn into a panda soon. Hopes not... *hopes, hopes, hopes*

So, jia you jia you jia you!! ^_^

Zoned Out

2006-05-28T01:52:00.000+08:00

I am zoning out.

Downloading Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator CS at the same time, and I am so tired already. You see, I have already been trying to download it since about 8 at night. It is now about 2 am, and there is still about an hour and a half to go for Photoshop. Tired, eyes tiring, and the wait is getting to me. An incident just now just compounds my frustration.

In actual fact, I have already finished downloading Photoshop. When I tried to install it, I found that it was just not possible. Why, you may ask. It was my fault actually, because I did not check the OS(Operating System) that was compatible. My laptop is an Apple iBook, and thus was not compatible with the WINDOWS version of it. Oh my goodness gracious me! How could such a blunder be made? To redeem myself slightly, the specifications were not posted with it, and thus no way of checking it. But then, I could have been more concious to the fact that mine was an Apple. Not Windows. If I had been more careful, I might have already been tucked in my bed snugly, under my comforter, drifting to DreamLand...

So, this teaches me to be more careful in the future, so as to not waste time doing such unnecessary things. I have projects to hand up...

Signing off,
JesSinTa

Freaky- Not?

2006-05-16T17:46:00.000+08:00

Is this freaky or what? Yesterday, I learnt something from my friend, how to see the number of children we would have in the future. A straight line was for a boy, while a curve was for a girl. In the beginning, a few of my other friends shook that off as something not possible, considering that we are scientific people, who want to look at cold, hard evidence(though we engage in flights of fancy sometimes!). Imagine what was running through our heads when it moved in those directions. It was not a one-off experience. It had the same pattern everytime we tried it!

I do not know, maybe it is our imaginations playing us out, but then when my I first tried I was freaked out, but was also attracted to it. In morbid curiosity, maybe, but I doubt so... Still, it was interesting. After a few times, we were having fun as well as continually trying to facinate ourselves.

A pendant telling fortunes? The wierdest thing is it works for all pendants. Shall not launch into specifics how to play this, as this might be difficult to explain here.

I am going to sign off now, so good night to all...

~†[POSEIDON.]†~

2006-05-14T01:33:00.000+08:00

Poseidon. The god of the seas. According to Encyclopedia Mythica, Poseidon was a temperamental god. As quoted from Encyclopedia Mythica, "when he was in a bad mood, Poseidon would strike the ground with a trident and cause unruly springs and earthquakes, ship wrecks, and drownings." Therefore, it might be the case when the ship in the movie with the same namesake sank, with just a handful of survivors.

A rouge wave struck the ship, the Poseidon, with such force that it totally overturned the ship. People fell from the ceiling, which was once the floor. The main lobby's lifts were wrenched from its moorings, and people were flung around as their world turned upside down. Flash fires occurred, burning all in its path to crisps. Furniture is toppled, flung around the room, and landed on the people, sharp sides impaling some. It is a gruesome sight. Many stayed in the ballroom, where most of them were at, locking the doors to prevent the water and fires from reaching.

A scene of the destruction

A group of them fought to find a way out of the ship, as they surmised that the ship was not designed to stay afloat upside down. Obstacles met them at every bend, and corpses abound. They struggled to stay one step ahead of the waters that were rising with every moment. Snap decisons had to be made, as a moment's delay could spell the difference between life and death. Heart pounding action every minute, as they struggled to make their way out alive(spoiler:they did so through the propellers.).

"Which way should we go now?"

Personally, I liked the movie. Though I know that in some instances they were too lucky to be true, I hung onto the edge of my seat. A few parts led me wondering whether all of them had big lungs. How else could they hold their breaths so long? But then, movies are meant to entertain. So take what you see in the movies with a pinch of salt, and just enjoy the movie. Immerse in the experience. Or when watching Poseidon, do what I did. Hang onto the edges of your seats.

Polling Day

2006-05-06T20:48:00.000+08:00

The day has arrived. Polling day. The day that many of our citizens vote for our future leaders. The results would be disclosed tonight, if not latest by tomorrow morning. How am i feeling? Though I still cannot vote, my dad and I went to a few rallies. We were interested in the on-goings of the elections. We were choosing our leaders of tomorrow, and we cannot be "bo-chap", as this involves our future.

I know that many people are not interested in attending rallies and such, but I feel that we should take a more vested interest in events that will shape our future. Furrthermore, listening to the rallies can give us a rough gauge of the quality of the candidates contesting. Listening to their priorities, we can then make an informed choice on who is best to lead the country.

At 10 tonight, the the counting will start. By tonight or tomorrow morning, the results would be known. What will be the results like? I am not sure, but like the majority of the people, i have an inkling on what will it be like.

≈[JesSinTa]≈

School is starting soon!

2006-04-22T19:53:00.000+08:00

School is starting soon for me. I am so excited! At the same time, a feeling of trepidation washed over me. What if I cannot adapt? What if I cannot cope? In the end, I put my worries aside. Many have survived, and I surely can do it!
Let us all work together, and excel together! We can and we will do it! I am ready now.. For my first lecture, tutorial, assignment, and those following them. I am ready to conquer. I can do it! Let us do it together, lending strength to each other, to grow together. We will do it.

Wierd...

2006-04-09T00:52:00.000+08:00

This is wierd. Totally.. I have a new laptop! It is a mac, an iBook. This is not the wierd part. I have another blog at blogdrive, but i cannot seem to enter an entry! The space for typing is gone! As in, there is no place for you to type in your entry, only place for the title and date.
Can someone tell me where the problem lies? My main blog is at blogdrive... The address to my other blog is angelstarz.blogdrive.com . If you want, please visit there, and drop me a tag as well as a comment.. Otherwise it would be a little troublesome to use the desktop computer everytime i want to type an entry.. Thank you!!

Falling.

2006-03-29T17:42:00.000+08:00

Just on Monday, I went ice-skating with Yun Hui, Xiao Long and Yun Hui's friend, Hui Ni.. We had loads of fun! I fell quite a few times, and suffered bruises on my knees because somehow i keep falling on my kness.. At least, I know how to stop already when skating! Or, at least, most of the time, as my attempts fail sometimes. Even so, I took the falls in my stride as that is how we learn new things. Isn't that so?
When we were toddlers, we fell many times before succeeding in walking. We were not afraid to fall. Whenever we fell, we just stood up and attempted again. However, along the way, we began to be afraid to attempt for fear that we would fall, that we would fail. That we would disappoint the people around us. This heavy burden we put upon ourselves restricted our growth, and our potential. Why? Why do we do that? Why can we not be like when we were kids, and be not afraid of falling, of failures? As the well-known phrase says it all: 'Failure is the mother of all success.' Why does society sometimes look down upon and ridicule failures? Scientists who do not give up and are unafraid of failures gain recognotion. Thomas Edison tried using about 999 different materials before succeeding in making the world's first working lightbulb. Einstien was ostracised by his peers and teachers when he was a youth, saying that he was slow and stupid. These people broke convention, and went against the current flow. They were unafraid of failures.
Others may ridicule them, but they peservered, and succeeded in the end, against what others think is impossible. If not for them, I believe that we might still be using oil lamps, and that the internet would be non-existent. Fifty years ago, I think that if you said that mail could be sent immidiately over a network like the internet, people thought you were crazy.
Why not? A decade ago, if people told you that a 20 GIG computer would be the norm in the future, your first reaction would be "Is that person crazy?" In fact, many computers are already past that limit. So, be not afraid to fail. Be not afraid to fall. The most important thing is picking yourself afterwards...

Signing off,

I am ME.

2006-03-08T02:22:00.000+08:00

I am me.

Flaws and all. Accept me for who I am, not of who you percieve me to be. Will you turn your back on me when you find out who I really am? Is this good or bad? I am an enigma. A paradox. Can you understand?
Please do not ask me to conform to society's demands. Let me be me, and allow me to retain my character, flaws and all... It is tiring to be someone I am not. Let me e myself, as I am Me...

*~[I am me.Unique.]~*

Too many things running through my mind.

my dreams sure are bizarre

The Tears That Fall

Change

A face to the war

Graduation

too many thoughts

so, thank you

New phase in life?

the beautiful story of salty coffee

Will you be there -

my little protective cocoon

Dreams - reflection of yourself?

I don't like needles

[almost] the new year

I don't like this

cherish the little shows of love

a moment of truth

-insert title-

just the little things that make people happy

WORK. Attachment actually

Please, open your eyes and minds

Light/Dark Chocolate

School's starting

The World Gone Mad

One of those days

Just in Singapore

Chain mails...

Oh boy.

like a little piped piper

aku tak tawu

interesting concept

cool ads

Happy Birthday DADDY! (^_^)v

back for a second post today. bwrah!

我已在尽力了

quirky things i think you don't know about me

conflicting emotions

a new strain

raptors ravens number one!

midnight influence

20th March, 20th March.

The secret of Indestructability

A lot to say, but not now.

Changed skin.

HAPPY CNY!

Hugs to all

That Surreal Feeling.

-Title-

Warning: Emo-ish

Attack of the flying cockroach

Blur Queen

To all the chain-mailers,

The year is near the end.

Merry Christmas/Boxing Day!

My own MSN emoticons! (^_^)v

Bear eats Monkey!!

All that I wanted to tell at once.

I might not be who you think I am.

People, manners...?

Hell Explained..?

Random Rambly Rantings

Ihavenoideawhy

Bowling is...

He who needs to be Threatened.

New...?

New blogskin up!

Tired? Yes, but happy too

At long last...

Somebody just smack me.

Library fun

Flash down!

Silly BillY Me

For What?

I'm an aunt.. Again!

Bad day, Good day

*Gasp* [Panics and faints]

Lighting is fun!

"The Beautiful Game"

~[I am me.Unique.]~

Gasp [Panics and faints]